


You got me

by Habitzz



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24226279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Habitzz/pseuds/Habitzz
Summary: Benrey shows up a month after the Resonance Cascade on Gordon's porch, and this takes place a month after that.[Insert quote from the fic here]
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 99
Kudos: 713





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HIII yes this has they/themrey they'll be going by they/them ^^ le nonbinary benrey has arrived. Also this is sort of rocky because I'm not writing how they meet up...its just parent au. Everything else happened but I guess Gordon doesn't leave and lives out his life.... somehow!

It had been a month. Just a month. And Gordon had already accepted the fact Benrey just.. wouldn't leave. It's not like Gordon wanted them to leave of course, he just thought it was...strange. After everything that happened, he thought Benrey hated him.

Actually...maybe hate was a strong word. DISLIKE, was the word he was looking for. After defeating them and making them 'bad', he didn't expect the security guard to just...appear. Though, maybe it was in character. Benrey did go missing a lot in Black Mesa. Just dipped out and never said a word..

Gordon doesn't have the chance to think about it more, and he's snapped out of his thoughts by Benrey speaking.

"Hey. Hey. Earth to feetman."

Gordon sighed.

"Benrey. Don't call me that."

"You love it."

"I don't."

Benrey shifted, sitting up on the couch and glancing at the hallway.

"I didn't know babies liked to fall asleep to dance music. That's like...the total opposite of baby music, bro."

"Well, I dunno, I guess Joshua is calmed by that stuff."

"Weird baby."

"Don't call my son weird."

"Weird. Baby."

Gordon adjusted his glasses, looking away from Benrey and staring at the T.V. He didn't want to admit it, but Benrey had been a huge help. When Gordon was out at his new job, Benrey was watching Joshua, and doing a surprisingly good job. Whenever Gordon called, Joshua was in his walker or even being educated by Benrey with little baby flash cards. The only thing Benrey couldn't get down was the whole feeding part. Gordon had preparations to help them out, like setting out the right amount of formula and water, the bottles already put together..yet he found himself being called about 7 times a day, just about the feeding. The other calls were about checking in of course, along with Benrey proudly stating Joshua was asleep as they were playing video games.

It only made Gordon a little concerned when Benrey said Joshua was 'getting victory royales like a pro'. Because it meant Benrey was giving the playstation controller to his son. He never got hurt, but it was always jarring to hear the gibberish along with Benrey cheering him on.

"Hey bro."

"What is it?"

Benrey spoke again, looking to Gordon with their eyebrows furrowed. Gordon turned down the volume on the television, acknowledging the..semi-serious look on Benrey's face.

"...Can I hug you?"

Gordon blinked.

"What?"

"Yeah y'know like. Hug you. You don't know what a hug is or something?"

"No No, I know what a hug is, Benrey, just.. why are you asking?"

Gordon couldn't hold in a nervous chuckle. He was so used to Benrey's blunt and emotionless tone as they asked if Gordon wanted to kiss. Why were they asking about a hug? Of all things? Gordon was about to chuckle again, until he saw that Benrey looked almost...hurt.

"Woah woah woah. Wait. Are you being serious?"

"Yeah."

".. You're asking if you can hug me?.."

"I don't..I don't know, I just don't want you to freak out or something. Like, you totally freaked out when I tried to kiss you and stuff. I mean one time I actually did, and I think you liked it-"

"Benrey that was because I didn't really, know you, y'know? It caught me off guard..and that one time...this is weird to discuss, I don't wanna go too in depth."

"So yes or no, dude."

"...Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Go ahead! We've been living under the same roof for like two months I think we're at the point we can hug eachother."

Benrey's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Uh, yeah. Bring it in."

Benrey extended their hand towards him, before pulling it back, and then scooting over to envelop Gordon in a hug. A pretty standard one. They must've thought they were gonna pull Gordon over, but bailed. Benrey was warm, and comfortable. The only thing Gordon wanted to complain about was his head being smashed against Benrey's chest. And their hair getting in his mouth. He wished Benrey would've shapeshifted to be a bit shorter.

"...Wow."

"Benrey, are you this amazed at what hugs feel like?"

"I've hugged Tommy before."

"Yeah, well, you guys are best friends, I figured-"

"It's because it's you."

Gordon blinked, fixing his glasses a bit.

"..Me?"

"I thought you'd say No and reject me and stuff. Or at least squirm a little."

"I said yes, why would I squirm? And don't use the word squirm, It'd be more like...a wiggle, if I didn't wanna be hugged- y'know what? I'm gonna stop talking."

So he did. Gordon stayed silent as he was hugged. Benrey only shifted to get more comfortable, before breaking the silence.

"You wanna sit in my lap, bro?"

"Your lap? Uhhh...um..."

Gordon thought about it for a moment, but figured it wouldn't hurt.

"Sure-"

He was immediately pulled in the other's lap, Benrey's head now on his shoulder, their arms wrapped around him even tighter. A small yelp of surprise came out of him, and the noise was met with a familiar laugh.

"Woahhh, Did I scare you?"

"No you just- I don't expect to be manhandled, Benrey."

"Manhandled?? Whaaattt?? Manhandling is like. Wayyy more intense. It would be like, grabbing you like a ragdoll, and shaking you.... That's not manhandling, bro."

"OK well, I don't expect to be pulled?"

"You complaining?"

Gordon felt his face heat up.

"...No?"

Benrey patted him on the back, and moved their head down a bit to breathe on Gordon's neck. Gordon shuddered.

"Hey! What the hell, man?"

"Ha ha."

"Yeah laugh it up, buddy."

Gordon groaned, running his hands through Benrey's hair. He was.. pleasantly surprised. Benrey used the conditioner he bought for them, and even brushed their own hair before he came home. Gordon chuckled, scratching the other's head.

"No way. You actually did this.."

Gordon expected a snarky response, but earned a...purr? Is that what that was? Benrey vibrated, and seemed to make a buzzing noise.

"...You didn't hear that."

"I totally did. You're- you're like a cat!"

"I'm not."

They huffed, and Gordon could tell they resisted the urge to disappear at that moment.

"I scratched your head and you made a purring sound, that equals weird cat thing."

"You're being weird."

Gordon felt offended.

"Me? I'm being weird? Me? You sure? Because it really seems like you purred, big guy." 

"Yeah. Yeah yeah. Shh. Shhhhh."

Benrey tried shushing him, only to fail. Then, they got an idea.

"It's almost time for Joshy to wake up, bro."

"What? No way, he fell asleep like-"

Gordon looked to the cable box, to see a whole hour had passed.

"...What the fuck."

"Woahhh language."

"Benrey, we've been here for an hour? A whole hour?"

"Yeah."

Gordon scrambled, only to be held in place by Benrey's arms.

"Let me go-"

"Nahhh...revenge for that head scratch, dude."

"Oh. Okay."

Gordon's hand shot up to scratch Benrey's head again, causing them to loosen their grip on Gordon.

"Cheater. Hacks."

Gordon laughed, wiggling out of Benrey's hold to walk to the hallway.

"Get a bottle ready."

Benrey sat still, arms crossed, using black mesa sweet voice.

"... Please?"

Still.

"Ughhh...woww...It sure looks like i'm never hugging my good pal Benrey ever again."

Benrey didn't move an inch.

"...Or kiss."

Benrey shot up and ran towards the kitchen, as Gordon laughed in the hallway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter! Gordon has a nightmare and Benrey burns their hand. I don't describe it in too much detail but it happens.

"Wake up, Gordon!" 

Gordon was being... shook, by a dark figure, and he quickly started to panic, sensing an urgency in the situation. 

"What?! What is it?! Did someone break in- is Joshua okay?!-"

When he turned to see who woke him up in the first place.. Benrey. He can tell because their claws are digging into his arms, and they only really have claws when they're.. scared. That or when they're messing with Gordon, or scratching at the carpet because it 'feels good'. But he can tell it isn't any of those situations, the claws feel sharp, as if they came out on instinct and Benrey didn't just randomly shapeshift them on. But that's the least of Gordon's worries. 

"...Benrey, what's happening? And why are...why are you in my bed?" 

Gordon rubbed his temples, feeling the claws disappear.

"You were screaming, bro." 

"What?" 

Gordon rubbed his eyes next, unable to see Benrey clearly with no light, and no glasses. All he could see were two bright eyes shining through the darkness, and he never understood how Benrey did that. They were like...headlights. 

"Yeah you were screamin', and I was like.. 'oh shit! Is feetman in trouble? Ah I'll just leave 'im, he can handle himself.'" 

"Wow. Thanks for making me feel sooo safe." 

"But then I was like...'Okay, no, if He was in trouble I would hear fighting or grunts...' 

Benrey paused. 

"Take your time."

"I am. So THEN I thought, 'oh fuck, he's gonna wake up Joshy, I better go stop him'."

"Okay, see- there's a good point-"

"Not done."

"Sorry." 

"So then I walked in here, saw you screaming like a..a weirdo. Yeah like a weirdo, all loud. And I just....bbbbbbb woke you up...by shaking you." 

Gordon felt Benrey rub his arm, gently. It made him shudder. 

"... I'm fine." 

"That's such a huge lie." 

"It's okay, I think it was just a nightmare..." 

"Whaat...scary." 

"Yeah, no, it was about Black Mesa, and it wasn't even...scary, it was just..unsettling." 

"Oh."

Gordon almost forgot it had been almost 3 months since the whole incident, and for one- going on two, of those months, Benrey had been in his home. Taking care of his kid, being a good person, and only being annoying once or twice. 

"...I was alone. Nobody was there I was just- walking through an empty facility-" 

"What's scary about that." 

"Nothing! So why was I screaming?"

"....Did ya miss us?"

"Miss you?" 

"Yeah. You saw we weren't there, and you freaked out. You missed the whole..science team." 

"Benrey, that may have been the case but I doubt it would make me scream...if all things, I would be crying-" 

"You were."

"What?" 

Benrey carefully raised their hand to graze it against Gordon's cheek, and pulled it back to show that it was...wet. 

"I was screaming and crying?"

"Yeah, fucked up."

"...Geez. I guess I did miss you..." 

"Me?" 

"No no, like, everyone. I missed everyone....including you." 

"...Well you're awake now, little dream boy. You're a little dream boy huh? Little dream boy feetman." 

Gordon felt like crying again. He actually did start, tears ran down his cheeks again as he stared into Benrey's eyes. 

"What the- why are- why are you crying?? What's going on?" 

"... I'm tired." 

"...Okay...well. I'm gonna go back on the couch and play video games or something."

"You don't sleep?" 

"No. Do you?" 

Gordon sniffed, rubbing his eyes before laying back down. He knew Benrey slept. His screaming and stuff probably disturbed them, and he couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt. He turned away quickly, trying to hold his pillow to his chest. 

"...Can you stay, actually?" 

"Stay?" 

"You know what I mean, Benrey, stay here?" 

"Haha whaattt..." 

"Listen if you think it's stupid, I don't wanna hear you make fun of me or something, just go back to the couch then." 

The tone in Gordon's voice changed. He was still tired, there was just a certain...sharpness to it. He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but he wasn't in the mood to really deal with hijinks or teasing. Crying after having a nightmare doesn't necessarily feel good, and Benrey's antics would've made it all feel so much worse. 

"...Nah i'll stay. The couch sucks ass, bro. It's all stiff, how can you live with it?" 

"Wait- wait, you're staying? Really?" 

Gordon laughed with...relief, but covered his mouth with the pillow. He knew if he showed Benrey he was happy about it he would hear nonstop jabs- 

"Yeah. Wait. Did you think- wowww.. wowww... that's- that's really mean dude." 

"Huh?" 

"Did you think I was gonna leave?" 

"Yeah...." 

Benrey blinked, the headlights going out for a moment. 

"....I won't." 

"..Okay, i'll scoot..over?"

"Hold on." 

Benrey moved, laying down on the bed with Gordon. They turned away before Gordon could say anything. For some reason, Gordon wanted to tug them over, get just...a little bit closer. But he didn't. He stayed still, looking at the wall before feeling warmth on his back. Without a word, Benrey turned back to him and moved over to..hold Gordon to their chest. Their arms were wrapped around him, and Gordon swore he heard Benrey mumble something about stuffed animals. 

Soon it was morning. And Gordon didn't even notice until he opened his eyes to see no arms wrapped around him, no figure behind him. For a split second, Gordon thought it was a dream, that Benrey didn't come to calm him down and comfort him. But, as he took some hair out of his mouth, he realized it was all real. It all happened. 

"That guy really needs a damn haircut..." 

He stretched, getting out of bed to check the time on his phone. His stomach churned at seeing the digits '12:45 pm' on the screen. It wasn't morning at all, he slept in, and Benrey just..let him. Gordon groaned, grabbing his glasses just to confirm he wasn't seeing things. 

He wasn't. 

"Thank god it's Saturday of all days." 

It was a very lucky experience. He didn't have work today, nor did he have any events scheduled. So he calmed down, until he realized his son was probably distressed. Rushing through the hallway, he skidded to a stop upon seeing Benrey on the couch, Joshua in front of them on a highchair. 

"Okay, so this is...what? Sweet potato? Look, it's good, trust me bro. Trust." 

"Benrey, what are you doing-"

"Feeding Joshy." 

"...He loves sweet potato." 

"Yeah I know, he's just being resistant. Look at him, he's got his fists up." 

His son, did in fact have his fists up. 

"..Um, okay?" 

That was a pleasant surprise. Gordon smiled, moving to the kitchen to rummage through the cupboard for pancake mix. 

"Hey! Let me know when he's done, and when you started, I need to log it." 

"He started like ten minutes ago." 

"Woah, an actual answer." 

"Just put one two three five." 

"I'll do it, I'll do it." 

Gordon swiftly put the right amount of mix in the measuring cup, before dumping it into a big bowl. In a flash, he had other parts in, including chocolate chips. He still doesn't know how he does that. Saturday was pancake day, obviously, and it was probably gonna stay that way. 

"Yo he's done. He finished the whole thing...what a legend." 

He opened his mouth to respond to Benrey, but before he could, he heard a bit of Black Mesa sweet voice, and closed it. It was nice to hear that sometimes, especially in a positive way and not a ...hostile way. He even heard Joshua try to imitate them, which almost caused him to spill the batter from the bowl while he was whisking. 

"Baaaaaaa." 

"Close enough. Hey, when you're older i'll teach you how do it like I do it." 

As Gordon scooped some batter into the pan, he heard the scooting of the highchair as Benrey moved the chair into the kitchen. 

"Lets watch your dad have an epic fail while making pancakes." 

"That's not what's gonna happen! Okay? I'm a total pancake pro, I know what I'm doing-" 

"That's not what bunny pancake number eight said last saturday." 

"Bunny pancake number eight was too stubborn! It failed because it didn't wanna get off the pan!" 

"Did you butter it last time, bro.." 

"....I don't need to answer that." 

Of course, he didn't. Gordon pulled off the first pancake pretty well now, even without the butter. 

"... Benrey, can you-" 

"Yeah."

Benrey somehow teleported the butter into Gordon's hand, without even opening the fridge. 

"..Hah, useful." 

After a few more minutes, five pancakes were on the plate, and Gordon didn't notice Benrey as they snuck up behind him. 

"Hey." 

"Ah!" 

Gordon jumped, grip loosening on the pan before lightly bumping into the other. It wasn't too messy, thanks to the fact Gordon just finished that fifth pancake. The pan would've hit the floor if it wasn't for Benrey sticking their hand onto it. Even though their hand was..directly on the pan itself, there was no sound of pain, or even the sound of sizzling. Benrey was quiet. 

"Woah! Hey, come on! Get your hand out of there!' 

"It doesn't hurt." 

Even if it didn't, Gordon felt like panicking, and grabbed the pan handle to yank it away. 

"Look! I got it! Get your hand away!" 

"Mmmm.."

Benrey looked down at their hand, squinting. There was...a burn for sure, but it didn't seem to bother them at all. Gordon, however, put the pan back on the stove, and put Benrey's hand under the sink faucet, having cold water run onto it. 

"Petroleum jelly, a bandage, have to change it twice a day-" 

"I'll just heal." 

"What?" 

"Did you forget I can just heal? I got hurt all the time at Black-" 

Gordon flinched, and Benrey stopped talking. 

"I mean... I did, and I just healed back up, bro. I'll be fine, just leave it." 

"Doesn't it hurt still?' 

"...a lil', what? Haha, gonna kiss it better?" 

There was a bit of silence, before Gordon lifted their hand to his lips, to give it just a small peck, before letting go and walking back to the stove. Benrey seemed stunned, staring at their hand before looking to Joshua. The little guy was just waving his arms around, chilling with a small toothbrush in his hand. 

"....did you see that?" 

Joshua giggled. 

"Yeah. Yeah you did." 

It took a bit before Gordon finished the eighth, and last pancake. He picked up the plate carefully, before seeing it be snatched away. 

"Hey!" 

"Got ya." 

Benrey set the plate down somewhere else, before wrapping their arms around Gordon and lifting him into the air. 

"This is manhandling, feetman." 

"What the hell-" 

Gordon was shook, semi-aggressively. When he felt Benrey squeeze tighter, he let out a squeak, seeing as Benrey unknowingly used a bit more strength than they probably intended to. 

"....Hehehehehe.." 

"Shut up. Shut up right now and put me down." 

"Ha ha ha." 

Benrey gently set him down, a smug grin on their face. 

"Oh shove it, buddy, bring Joshua to the living room." 

"HA HA HA HA HA."

Gordon rolled his eyes, unable to hold in just a.. small chuckle. He grabbed the plate of pancakes and moved away, letting Benrey laugh up a storm as they gently got Joshua out of the highchair. 

Once he was a good distance away, Benrey lifted Joshua to meet the baby eye to eye. 

"Your dads cute, he single?" 

"Ba." 

"Oh hell yeah."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings? Benrey gets a little anxious, mention of an injury but that's it!

They wanted to say it. 

They wanted to say it so bad. 

The feeling. The burning, passionate, powerful feeling ate at them inside, made them hollow and made them unable to think. As if their mind was eaten as well. And it hurts. And Gordon was making it worse. 

Every light touch, every hug, hold, kiss on the hand, tease, meaningful word. It stacked. And Benrey tried to shove it all under the carpet, tried to cover it, tried to say it's not romantic it's Gordon being friendly, being nice to them, there's nothing there! But the stack falls, the carpet falls, and the obvious affection is there on display and Benrey is afraid of it. They were afraid of the stack of actions, afraid of what Gordon thought of them. As if Gordon were so cruel. 

And Gordon doesn't know it, but he has Benrey wrapped around his finger. 

When he said to do something, Benrey found himself not resisting or dancing around it as much, and did it, and when he talked Benrey listened, when he needed space Benrey gave him space....sometimes.

They had it bad. 

Gordon went to work, and Joshua was still asleep. Benrey was stuck on the couch, and they knew a bottle was ready for when Joshua woke up. They sighed, running their hand through their hair, feeling it be so..clear. Earlier, before Gordon got ready and left, he brushed their hair. He was so gentle, so patient, and Benrey was snarky and smart. While Gordon brushed their hair they spouted endless taunts and jokes. Gordon laughed a few times before checking the time, and finishing up. 

Benrey wanted more. 

And as they sat on the couch, they didn't play a single video game. They couldn't focus and thought they would lose every match.

Instead, their mind wandered. They already knew it could never happen, Gordon wasn't interested in them like that, why would he ever be? Benrey was an obstacle, and just because they were good now, doesn't mean they were good before. Gordon already talked about how he forgave them, talked about how it was in the past, how he moved on. But the nightmares said otherwise. 

Their mind wanders somewhere else. Is there someone out there Gordon likes already? Is it someone they know? Or is it someone at work. Someone...that wasn't like Benrey. Someone who didn't have a past with Gordon. Or it could be someone Gordon randomly met on the street, and had chemistry with and- Benrey tried to stop.

They rubbed at their temples, trying to say it couldn't be that. Gordon never brought anyone home but how could he? With a six foot something security guard taking care of his son, who would want to come home with him after knowing that? And Benrey tried to think. Are they ruining Gordon's life? No. No. It isn't that. They're taking care of Joshua, they're helping, they're being a good person so they can't be ruining Gordon's life, noo... So it isn't that. 

Then what was wrong? 

Benrey wanted to say it. 

They wanted to say they loved him. But it could never come out right. 

Joshua woke up. They fed him, they played with him for a little, and straight back to sleep a few hours later. When Benrey looked at Joshua they couldn't help but see a little bit of Gordon, and for some reason, it made them sad. Joshua was wonderful, and Benrey was taking care of him. It was a gift, honestly, being there and being with Gordon and his son..... 

His son. 

Benrey groaned, facepalming, because they remembered what they said the other day on accident. 

They called Joshua 'our son.' 

How do you even slip up that bad? 

The worst part was that Gordon didn't even correct them. He was surprised, raised his eyebrows, and looked to the side, but didn't say anything. Benrey just held in the urge to scream the whole time. 

Maybe they were overthinking it. 

They sighed, rubbing at their eyes and staring at the ceiling. 

Before they can think, their phone buzzed. Gordon's check in call. 

"Huh?" 

"Benrey! Thank god you answered, hey listen, this is gonna be more than a check in call." 

Oh no. 

"What's up, feetman." 

"So I'm a little held up here at work, I'm not gonna be home till like... Nine pm tops. I'm really sorry." 

"....bro why the fuck does work need you longer don't you just work and get out isn't that the whole point?" 

"It's busy here, okay? I'm really...sorry about it." 

"It's....whatever. it's whatever. Anything else?"

"Well how-" 

"He's good. He's gonna wake up soon." 

"Oh! Good!" 

"Yeah."

Silence. 

This was the worst part of the check in call. Nobody saying anything as if there was dialogue missing.

"...Well ..um..see you when I...get home?" 

"Yeah." 

Benrey's finger hovered over the end call button. 

"Oh! Um..almost forgot. It's raining, and I forgot my umbrella-" 

"Haha."

"Yeah haha all you want, but i'm gonna be cold as fuck when I get home, hope you know that." 

"Whoops." 

"Yeah. Don't expect a hug or something when I'm soaked." 

"Waittt...feetman should I teleport an umbrella into your hand....?" 

"Yes! Yes please, yes, use your weird powers to give me an umbrella." 

"Okay." 

Benrey stood up, grabbing the umbrella from the wall, shaking it for a second. 

"Okay here it comes-" 

"Wait, is it actually gonna-"

The umbrella disappeared from their hand, and they heard a noise of surprise from the other end. 

"Woah! Woaahhhhh... That's actually so cool!" 

Benrey chuckled, staring at the screen. Gordon's excitement was so... visible, even if he wasn't there physically. 

"Okay okay okay, enough hijinks. I gotta go, I'll call you later!" 

"Seeya." 

"Bye! L- ....seeya...later ..?" 

Benrey blinked. 

"HA, okay." 

Benrey ended the call and flopped back onto the couch, growling into it. There was a slip up. And Gordon was the one that did it this time. It felt......weird. it just felt weird. Benrey went about their day, doing literally nothing except taking care of Joshua. Gordon was going to be away for...awhile. It was a boring experience. At a few hours in, Benrey laid on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with Joshua on their chest. 

".... Joshy, what time is it?" 

Joshua didn't answer. 

"Yeah, me neither." 

It was...an experience to just lay there for awhile. Joshua fell asleep, and Benrey got up to put him in his playpin. They had just stepped into the hallway when they saw the door fly open. Gordon was in the doorway, and probably unlocked the door in a seemingly noiseless manner, because Benrey didn't get a warning. They gripped Joshua a bit tighter, only a little surprised at the abrupt entrance. Gordon looked disheveled, holding a closed umbrella in his hand, his glasses crooked, and his hair falling out of the ponytail. Benrey turned away, going to put Joshua down carefully, before running back. As they stared, Gordon tossed the umbrella onto the floor and shoved off his jacket. Benrey huffed, walking over to grab Gordon by the shoulder. And they were almost shoved, until Gordon got a good look at them, as if he thought they were someone else. 

"Sorry- fuck, this day sucked." 

"You're home early." 

"Yeah, yeah, something happened and they sent me home, no big deal." 

"You have a mark." 

"What?" 

Benrey poked the middle of Gordon's face, and watched him wince. 

"Hey! Don't do that!" 

"Little clumsy boy. What did this? The ground?" 

Gordon looked away. Benrey squinted, trying to piece together what had happened. Then their eyes widened, and they gripped Gordon's shoulder a little tighter. 

"...did you get punched or something?" 

"..No." 

"I mean I wouldn't blame them, you can be mean sometimes-" 

"You're so nice." 

They watched Gordon rub the middle of his face, and fix his glasses. 

"Wait, did someone actually punch you? Fuuucked up." 

"No! I- ...someone opened a door and it just- I happened to be behind it and-"

Gordon stopped to clear his throat.

"Whatever, it's fine. I don't- I don't care." 

"That's really stupid-" 

"Benrey, I'm not in the mood to-" 

"-why didn't they open it slowly...or something.. who opens a door like, super speed... that's really stupid. Hitting someone in the face with a door is mean too, you didn't even do anything. You were just chilling and wham! Door!" 

Gordon laughed, covering his mouth slightly to try and muffle himself. 

"Yeah- yeah well he didn't know-" 

"He?" 

Gordon waved his hands, seeing the other's expression darken.

"....Hey, calm down, buddy he didn't know I was there, he apologized, and- and he even bought me coffee! So he's not that bad-" 

"Coffee? Lame." 

"Well what else was he gonna do, Benrey? Buy me dinner? For hitting me in the face with a door?" 

"...I dunno. Maybe." 

Benrey pulled their hand away to rub at their arm. Gordon blinked, and made the most enlightened expression, as if he figured out the answer to the universe. 

"..Waiit, lemme get this straight, are you like...just......a little jealous?" 

Gordon tilted his head, his hair framing his face in a way that Benrey couldn't..look at him anymore. So they looked away, shutting their eyes and making a 'hm,' noise. 

"Benrey, you're getting all uncomfortable." 

"Yeah, well, you're making me uncomfortable bro look." 

Benrey pointed downwards, and Gordon, fell for it. As Gordon tilted his head down, Benrey flicked his nose, laughing a little as they did so. 

"Ha." 

"Ok first off- ow, you fucker, second off, you're avoiding the question." 

Gordon pinched the bridge of his noise, before taking his hair out of the ponytail and sliding the rubber band into his wrist. His hair fell against his shoulders, and a few strands fell against his face, covering his eye a bit. As he lifted a hand to move them, Benrey beat him to it. Their hand moved up to just slightly push the hair out of his eye, and Gordon froze. 

"Got a little hair there, feetman. Had to move it. Bothered me." 

"Wow, yeah, thanks."

Gordon chuckled, before removing the half tied tie from his shirt, tossing it against the wall. Benrey, for some reason, went to pick it up. 

"Uhhh...um. Why are you- why are you throwing shit..." 

"I'm too tired to put stuff away, okay? i'll do it later." 

"Ooohhh irresponsible." 

"Shut up." 

"Make me." 

Gordon furrowed his eyebrows, and tried his best to pin Benrey to the wall, though, it was harder to intimidate when he was shorter than them. His hands were against the wall and his arms served as a sort of..cage. Gordon showed a bit of defeat. 

"Wowww, woahh..look at little feetman. So scary ahh." 

Benrey's eyes were widened, and they were.. genuinely surprised, but tried not to show it. 

"Oh my god, you can't say I didn't t-" 

"You're so small, bro, I can squish you." 

Benrey made a squishing sound effect. 

"Well how the hell am I supposed to do this shit when you're a fuckin'...behemoth." 

"I'm just a few inches taller than you, bro, you're exaggerating." 

Gordon huffed, and stopped talking for a good minute. Benrey broke the silence. 

"....wanna kiss?" 

Gordon blinked, and moved away. 

"Not this time, pal." 

He rolled his eyes, walked over to the couch, and laid on it, his limbs sprawled everywhere. 

"My face still hurts." 

"Want me to kiss it better?" 

Gordon laughed, shaking his head. 

"No- No, don't- ha, don't worry about it." 

"Okay but you kissed my hand that one time and it felt better." 

"You healed, asshole." 

"Huh?" 

"You-" 

"What?" 

"..fucker." 

Gordon adjusted himself, making room for Benrey to sit next to him. Benrey sat, before grabbing the remote to change the channel or..something. They mostly did it to distract themselves. They didn't...want to look at Gordon. When he had his hair down, Benrey thought he looked..great, better than great, and if they stared at his face for more than ten seconds they would probably explode. 

"...You can." 

"What?" 

"You can..I dunno, give it a kiss, or whatever. I did it to you that one time so just see this as...look, just do it before I change my mind." 

Benrey blinked. 

"...Ha ha." 

"I'm not joking-"

They shook their head, and leaned to kiss Gordon's forehead. 

"You missed." 

"Whatt.." 

Then they kissed just a little lower, before kissing the tip of Gordon's nose. Before they could even reach his lips, Gordon giggled, waving his hand around. 

"Okay stop stop- that's- that's so cheesy, Benrey." 

"Grilled cheese sandwich." 

"Yeah- yeah buddy, grilled cheese sandwich." 

"Hmm I didn't even ...get far." 

"You didn't- oh my god- Benrey-" 

"Gordon." 

Gordon blinked. 

"...You said my first name. Like my actual name."

"I do it sometimes." 

"But when you're serious yeah?" 

"I guess.." 

Benrey looked to the television, unable to really get ahold of what they were seeing, they were too focused on Gordon. The speaking on the TV sounded like background gibberish. When they felt Gordon's hand on their cheek they leaned into it, sighing. This was what they were talking about. Moments like these made them want to just...say it, outright. But they didn't. And even when Gordon leaned upwards, they didn't say it. When Gordon finally closed the space between them, they didn't say it. When they felt his lips on theirs, they.... They leaned against him, pinning him against the couch until Gordon had to break the kiss to breathe.

"....Woah."

"...Sorry I-" 

Gordon sputtered, his face red and his hands shaky. Benrey wanted to laugh, badly. The man was a mess. As soon as Benrey went to speak again, to say something about it, to make a jab to throw off the mood, Gordon leaned upwards again, and wrapped his arms around their neck. He held on for dear life as he kissed them again, his hand even stroking Benrey's hair. Then he gasped. Benrey kept forgetting Gordon needed to breathe, and they didn't. 

Then they spoke at the same time, the looks on their faces seeming too similar. 

"Fuck."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings! Good ol warnings...Gordon gets angry at Benrey but thats it... just all jokes

Benrey sat on the couch, alone. Gordon was home, yes, he didn't have work. And knowing this fact, Gordon would sleep in again. Benrey was actually up....very early. They couldn't stop thinking about what happened the day before, what happened afterwards. 

They were both surprised at their own actions, and Benrey... disappeared. They faded away when they realized what happened, leaving Gordon to lie there and think about it all. Gordon must've gotten Joshua while they were gone, fed him, etc etc. After that? Their phone blew up. Texts from Gordon asked if they were okay, asked where they were. They were in the park. Alone. At night. It was suspicious, sure, and they were pretty sure someone walked by and saw their headlight eyes and had nightmare fuel for the rest of their life, but they had a good reason to be in that park they promised. Being out there the whole night was a bit challenging, though, coming home at three in the morning was even more challenging. Teleporting made their entrance silent, but they had no idea if Gordon had been awake or not. They didn't bother to check, being afraid of seeing him anyway. 

When they heard a pant, somewhere in the hallway, they looked down. 

"Benrey?" 

Gordon's voice came out quiet, a little shaky. 

"...No, it's...your mom." 

Benrey deadpanned. 

"Asshole!" 

The sound of footsteps caused them to look up again, to see Gordon had ran over in front of them and grabbed them by a handful of their shirt. 

"I was texting you, and calling you, and I even called the guys! I thought you were with them or something! But I guess they would've let me know- that's not the point! The fuckin' point is, you just...disappeared! Into the thin air! Just like before!"

"Okay-" 

"No- no 'okay'!" 

Gordon used all of his strength, and shook them, harshly. Benrey's brain would've been bouncing around inside their head. 

"Woah calm down, calm down, buddy. You're scaring me."

"I'm not scaring you." 

"...yeah okay, I'm not scared. But stop it you're gonna ruin- ruin my shirt, bro." 

"Fuck off." 

"Ouch." 

Gordon groaned, before he shook them again. 

"Can you take this seriously? Please?" 

"I can..haha.. I can take thi-" 

"No jokes. You make another joke and I- I'll..." 

Gordon hesitated. 

"I'll tell Joshua you're...a bad, person..?" 

Benrey shuddered, accidentally using black mesa sweet voice. Or at least, they think it was an accident. The blue orbs crashed into Gordon's face, causing him to let go of their shirt and stumble back. Benrey grabbed Gordon before he could hit the ground. The least they could do was make sure Gordon didn't hit his head or worse. 

"What the fuck." 

"Sorry." 

"Benrey you gotta warn me or some shit, next time, god." 

The orbs disappeared. 

"I didn't know that would happen. It was like... A defense mechanism.. or whatever."

"...Okay, I'm sorry for..lashing out.. at you. If..If that made you freak out..." 

Gordon rubbed his arm.

"The Joshua part scared me." 

"Oh." 

Gordon scratched the back of his head, avoiding eye contact. 

"You just- Benrey, you had me worried sick. You disappear, the guys haven't heard from you, and you suddenly show up in my living room at like, what time is it? Three... am? And you just- act like nothing happened!" 

"Nothing happened, though." 

"Something did happen and you know it." 

"Whaaaaat..what happened?" 

"Benrey." 

"Huh?" 

"Please." 

Gordon's voice cracked in the middle, and his hands found themselves gripping Benrey's. 

"...Okay. Sure. I'll be serious." 

"Promise?" 

"...Promise... Pinky promise. bbbbbb..." 

Then, Gordon laughed. At first, Benrey thought it was because of their tone, but then they realized..the tears in his eyes as he laughed. They felt like wiping them away, but resisted the urge. 

"I'm just happy you're back, honestly." 

"Uhhhhh....wow....first of all, why are you awake right now bro, what's going oooon." 

"..I couldn't sleep." 

"Why." 

"I...I was...too busy." 

Benrey tilted their head. 

"I was thinking about where you were." 

"Ohhhhh....ohhhh...cringe." 

Gordon messed up Benrey's hair when they spoke. 

"Okay well fuck me for being so worried right? .... you promised to be serious!" 

"Is this about...the kissing." 

"..Yes. yes it is actually. I don't know what to label...kissing...my friend? Twice? And I actually chose to this time? It's fucking- fucking weird, okay?" 

Here it comes. Benrey waited to hear something awful, a reality check. Gordon was going to shoot them down, they felt it. He would say to never try it again, even if...he was the one to really kiss first. They tried to wrap their mind around the possibility that Gordon would let them stay close. It was near impossible maybe but they could dream. 

"Are you mad." 

"... No. No, I'm- I'm not, mad, Benrey. Why would I be mad?" 

"Because uhhh...ehh...hmm..."

Benrey blanked. 

"Because I kissed you two times and then you just disappeared?" 

"...Ehhh..." 

"I was frustrated for a bit." 

"Okay?" 

"But it mostly just... Turned into worry. Like I did something to make you disappear. It was me right? I shouldn't have kissed you like that." 

"...Wait. what?" 

".. Yeah? What I did was totally uncalled for, it probably grossed you out.. right?" 

"Wh- why- Feetman." 

Gordon blinked. 

"...Oh shit! Wait! Did you-" 

"Yeah." 

"You...you liked it?" 

"I kissed back didn't I." 

"I just- you disappeared so-" 

"I freaked out because I was shocked, yeah, I guess...but I didn't- bro, I didn't hate it." 

"Ohh..." 

Gordon smacked himself in the face, and Benrey grabbed his hand in response. 

"Why are you hitting yourself." 

"Because- because I'm dumb! I thought you were like, totally grossed out so I felt guilty!" 

"Ok but what does that have to do with... with treating yourself like a..punching bag." 

"I just..." 

"Reallyyyy stupid." 

"I get it." 

Benrey huffed, pulling their hand away to put it on the couch instead.

"..What do we do now?" 

"What do you mean." 

"Like, do we just..." 

Benrey braced for impact. 

".....What are we?" 

Benrey..shifted their shoulders down. 

"I don't know fuckin' uhhhhhh guys who kiss eachother and raise a kid." 

"You have to be kidding." 

"No funny haha jokes here, bro." 

Gordon adjusted his glasses, trying to grasp the situation. What was he supposed to call it? Two people raising a baby and sometimes they kiss, that sounded ridiculous. He sighed. 

"I don't know! I really don't know! It's so ...weird, not in the bad way! I just can't- I can't find a way to label it....Benrey." 

"What." 

"Do...do you like me?" 

"No you're fuckin' lammmeee ha ha ha." 

"...Okay-" 

"It's a prank bro it's a prank chill chill. Uhhh of course I like....you...bbb..." 

Benrey held their head, trying to conceal their true intent. 

"I...like you too- oh my god i'm in fucking highschool again. This is embarrassing-" 

"You went to highschool?"

"Wowww....wow. okay wow, just wow. You are just...great at compliments, buddy." 

Gordon, despite his tone, seemed relatively calm. He wrapped his arms around Benrey suddenly, sighing with relief. 

"Why are you hugging me." 

"Because I want to, and I'm holding in the urge to hit you in the head with Joshua's giant caterpillar." 

"Fucked up." 

Benrey sniffed, wrapping their arms around Gordon before pulling him back into them. 

"...I'm tired." 

"Woahh feetman gets tired? Weak." 

Gordon closed his eyes. 

"I'm gonna just- fall asleep here." 

"On me?"

"Yeah." 

"....Okay." 

"Hey Benrey?" 

Benrey looked towards him. 

"What's up." 

"I don't care what we are." 

"...Me neither." 

"But..." 

Gordon yawned. 

"...I....I do......" 

"You do what?" 

Benrey waited for an answer for hours. 

But Gordon fell asleep in the middle of his sentence. 

So they wouldn't get one.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

"Oh Gordon, I'm so happy for you!" 

Coomer's voice rang out from his phone, loud and as chipper as ever. 

"Nothing's happened yet. We just..talked." 

"Have you said the most important word?"

"...No? What's- what's the uh... the most important word?"

"Why, it's love of course! Though there's many important words out there besides love, but in this case-" 

"Got it- um..No, I haven't said...love. It didn't even cross my mind, Dr. Coomer."

"Well you'll have to figure it out then won't you, Gordon?" 

"...Yeah. Hey, actually, is Bubby there?" 

"Oh yes! He's in the kitchen right now! Microwaving something I presume, because I hear the elegant sound of BRRRRRRRRRRR, isn't it just lovely?" 

"Does he..know...?" 

"Nope! I haven't told him anything! Though, I'm a bit touched you told me first. Thank you, Gordon!" 

"Yeah, no problem...um... So I'll talk.. to you later?" 

"That would be nice!" 

"Yeah ..yeah that would be nice..." 

"Goodbye, Gordon! Oh! It appears Bubby's hotpocket is done! He is holding it up and showing it to me right this moment-"

Coomer's voice became faint. 

"That is a lovely hotpocket!"

Gordon snickered, before hanging up the phone and calling Tommy. 

"Tommy? You busy?" 

"No.. I'm walking Sunkist! Why? Hello!" 

"Just..callin' ya. You good?" 

"Yes! I'm very happy."

Gordon could basically hear the man's smile. 

"That's good! Uh...have you talked to Benrey lately?" 

"We played video games..a few hours ago!" 

"Ohh...Okay, cool cool. Did they say anything?" 

"Nopee...is there something wrong?"

"No no, nothing's wrong I was just, checking in." 

"Oh, okay! Oh! Sunkist found a mcnugget box, I'll have to call you later!" 

"Seeya, Tommy." 

"Byeeee." 

Then he hung up. 

Gordon sighed, attempting to roll out of his position in order to stand up. It was unsuccessful, but you couldn't say he didn't try. The sound of a door opening made him lift his head up to see what it was, or in this case, who. Benrey sort of just, stood there, not taking a step forwards or backwards. Ever since their talk they were a bit, dodgy. Dodgy was being used lightly, actually. When Gordon thought about it, he realized Benrey avoided contact. Usually they at least hugged him. He shook his mind, dug through it to try and find what he did wrong. But no matter how much he thought, he couldn't find anything in particular. When he looked away, he heard the sound of footsteps, and quickly scrambled to get out of bed to stop them. 

"Wait! Benrey, hold on-" 

"I was just checkin' on you, feetman, Joshua is fine, he's good." 

"No, that's not...not what I wanted to ask."

Gordon rubbed his arm. 

"Ok. What is it then." 

"...Did I do something?" 

"Like breathe? I hope so, you can't live if you don't breathe." 

"Seriously, Benrey, you've been so..distant?"

"I can't have me time?" 

"Benrey you actively avoid sitting next to me on the couch." 

"Ummmm...it sucks." 

"It's better than the floor!"

"Whatt...no, the floor rocks." 

"Um, okay? But I offered to sit with you and you said 'no, you stink', which was mean and also not true." 

Benrey showed Gordon Joshua, having him peek into the room. He waved his arms around and babbled. It was delightful, but wouldn't distract Gordon. 

"Look at your son bro he's trying to tell you it's all good." 

"He can't even speak yet." 

"He said beh, that's basically my name." 

"Beh?" 

"It was close enough." 

"Sure." 

Joshua waved. 

"Okay now he's just waving... he's just chilling...you gonna put me on blast in front of him? That's messed up." 

"I'm not putting you on blast, i'm asking you a question. Did I do something wrong?" 

"....Uhhhhh you existed." 

"If I didn't exist, Joshua wouldn't be here so..checkmate." 

"Damnit." 

"Yeah." 

"Well, okay sure whatever. It's nothing." 

"So I did nothing wrong?" 

"....Well-" 

"Here! In this time! Not... y'know."

"Oh. I mean where do I start-" 

"Stuff it." 

"Yikes!" 

Benrey hugged Joshua. 

"Now that I know I can't trust you to tell me, I wanna show you something." 

Gordon rummaged through his work pants to find a piece of paper. 

"This!" 

"Paper." 

"Not just paper, it's a free dinner pass for Red Lobster. I won it at a raffle at work and it expires-" 

He squinted. 

"Tomorrow! So you know what that means?" 

"You toss it before tommorow?" 

"No....why would I- no, Benrey, I'm taking you out." 

"Oh my god, that's so- wow, you're taking me out? In front of Joshua? You're a monster-"

"On a dinner date." 

"Date? Cringe, I rather play video games with Tommy." 

"Benrey it's just one dinner." 

"What about Joshua." 

"My brother volunteered to take care of him." 

"Brother?... why not the science team." 

"Everyone is doing their own thing, I don't wanna disrupt or...something." 

"Have you asked." 

"No but...ehhh....mmm...." 

"Come on." 

"...ahh...Sure. sure. Fu- sure. Why not? Who knows? Maybe they're free." 

"How long was this date gonna last anyway." 

"Like...I dunno? Three hours? More? Tops?" 

"Hmmmmm..... sure. You owe me snacks though." 

"Deal." 

Gordon groaned, before looking at the time. 

"I'll ask the guys in a second, can you-" 

"I'll watch him." 

Benrey nodded, before walking back to the living room. Then, he grabbed his phone and texted the science team. They answered immediately, saying they didn't have plans and were free. Tommy though, answered quite enthusiastically, which made Gordon feel confident with his decision.

A few hours passed, and Gordon started to get ready for the dinner. If he was going to be honest, he didn't put a lot of thought into it, just got the idea when he remembered the slip of paper. It was a good idea when he started, but as he looked deeper, one wrong move and he had a chance to cause further distress on Benrey's end. The term 'date' was already risky enough, and he tested the waters by using it. According to Benrey's reaction, they weren't entitely opposed, but a little put off. Gordon put his head in his hands after he looked down at his outfit. It wasn't too formal right? Was a dress too formal? Should he have of just put on a suit? 

"Hey, feetman, they're h-" 

Gordon looked back at the voice, seeing Benrey shuddering in the doorway. 

"Oh, they are? Cool. Cool. I'll be there in a second." 

He masked his surprise with a sort of, calm act. 

"C-cool, yeah...yeah...yeah.. You look. Lame by the way. Like a trainwreck." 

"Buddy, what the hell are you gonna wear?... wait, no- don't say the tuxedo shi-" 

"Tuxedo shirt." 

"Goddamnit. I jinxed it." 

"Yeah, dummy, look who's laughing now." 

Benrey gestured to themselves. They were still shuddering, and sweating. Gordon had no idea they could sweat. 

"I'll get it." 

Gordon searched through his closet, throwing out that awful tuxedo shirt and a pair of pants to Benrey.

"Awesome." 

"Yeah ok." 

He reached up to take his hair out of the messy ponytail it was in before, and instead put it in a proper one. 

Benrey felt like the air was knocked out of them. 

"Okay! Done, I'll go see them, you can change while i'm out there!" 

"Yeah." 

Gordon rushed out to greet the others, while Benrey stepped into the room. 

"Hey guys!" 

"Gordon! You look incredible!" 

"Mr. Freeman, your dress is so pretty!" 

Bubby coughed. 

"Well, I mean, it does look good on you, Gordon." 

"Yeah, it was kind of a last minute decision, so thanks! Really. Um- and thanks for watching Joshua." 

"Oh it's no big deal, Gordon! We'll always be here for you!" 

"Yeah! I hope you don't mind that I brought Joshua a gift, Mr. Freeman!" 

"You got him a gift?" 

Tommy nodded, excitingly pulling out a small dog plushie from his pocket. 

"Look! It kinda looks like Sunkist!...Real Sunkist might be too big to play with Joshua, so I brought tiny Sunkist! Do you like it?" 

"...That is so fucking adorable." 

"It is adorable, Tommy. So, Gordon, I.. don't see Joshua anywhere." 

Bubby crossed his arms. 

"Yes! Well, he's sleeping right now but, I left instructions for what to do in the kitchen for when he wakes up." 

"Oh! Good! We'll do our very best, Gordon." 

"Yeah!!!" 

As the science team spoke amongst each other, Benrey walked from the hallway, hands in their pockets. 

"Oh! It's Benrey, hello Benrey!" 

"Sup." 

"Hi Benrey!!!!" 

"Tommy!" 

Benrey opened their arms, and Gordon watched as Tommy ran over to hug them. He only felt...a tinge of hurt. Just a small bit. 

"Joshua is safe with us, Gordon! I would die for that baby!" 

"Okay, but if that actually comes to it, I would rather have everyone live, including you, Dr. Coomer." 

Coomer laughed, patting his chest a bit. Bubby looked to his watch. 

"You better run Gordon, it's about to be seven o clock." 

"Shit, right, Benrey you good?" 

Benrey had already broken away from the hug to stand by the door. 

".... yeah I've been waiting. Fucked up." 

"Sure. Alright, we're off, everyone!" 

And soon after, they actually were. Gordon went back to let them know he would check in, then jump into the car. The ride was quiet, and awkward. Benrey didn't speak much unless they were poking at Gordon's restaurant choice. To which Gordon explained he didn't even choose the restaurant, he won the dinner thing at a raffle. Benrey dismissed the fact, and jabbed at him anyway. When the ride was over, Gordon sighed with relief, hoping they were more talkative during the dinner. 

"So..um. what are you...ordering?" 

"Lobster." 

"What." 

"Just a lobster. I'm not picky." 

"Expected much." 

Gordon groaned behind his menu, avoiding eye contact with the other. Now this part wasn't going so well for him. After that awkward ride, he expected more conversation, and maybe should've expected less. 

"What about you." 

"I'm just ordering whatever, I've never been here before." 

"Lame." 

"Hey, i'm not a fancy guy, okay? We don't eat fancy meals at home." 

"We've eaten sushi." 

"That's not fancy." 

"Wow, such high standards, wow." 

"Haha, yeah, um, sorry buddy if I ask for too much." 

Benrey laughed, and ate literally every single appetizer biscuit before Gordon could even look at them. He was convinced it was out of spite. It worsened when the actual food came out. Gordon had to watch with horror, as Benrey ate the lobster whole. 

"Jesus Christ." 

"Do you not eat it like this." 

"Benrey you deshell the damn thing I'm pretty sure." 

"I hypnotized the waiter to give me a regular lobster they threw in a pot." 

"What." 

"You looked away, and I used Black Mesa sweet voice to. To convince him." 

"That's what you were doing?" 

"Yeah." 

Gordon facepalmed, dragging his hand down his face. 

"Why do I even- look, I'm already done, I'll tip and we'll go home." 

"No I'll do it." 

Benrey reached into their pockets, and slammed crumpled up money onto the table. 

"Where did you-" 

"Bbbb don't ask." 

Since the dinner was free, they could leave immediately. Gordon took home leftovers. Just basic stuff, nothing too fancy. When they got back into the car, Gordon.. didn't start it. Benrey shook him, thinking he was in some sort of trance. Then Gordon's hand found itself on their's. 

"Benrey." 

"Woah." 

"Can we talk?" 

"That dinner was epic what is there to talk about." 

"..You haven't been as close, lately. It's been making me worried." 

"You say worry...a lot." 

"Because that's just how I feel! And I thought this dinner..would sort of fix a few things. But we didn't even talk then!" 

"There's not a lot to...say, bro. It's dinner. We eat we leave what's the issue." 

"...I haven't been... on a date in forever. I'm sorry for making it so... quiet." 

"Wait what? I thought you got offers...or something... you're telling me you're dateless? Constantly?" 

"Yeah, lame, I know. Blah blah blah. I don't blame them. I'm not really a beacon of attractiveness, okay? And I'm also a package deal, I got you, I got Joshua I mean... Listen, who wants this? I'm, easy to anger sometimes, I get frustrated and worried a lot, and i'm nice! I'm a good...decent guy I just. I don't see the appeal. If I met myself, I wouldn't know how to deal with it. Former scientist, single dad, working at a boring business job? What part of that sounds appealing-" 

"Oh my god shut the fuck up." 

Gordon blinked. 

"Excuse me?" 

"Shut. Stop talking. Shut your face. Stop. Aghhh stop stop stop." 

"I-" 

Benrey slammed their hand on the dashboard. 

"I do." 

"You do..what.."

"You're sooo dumb, you're suchhh a fucking idiot ohhhhh woahhh ahhh.." 

"Ouch? Okay, a little uncalled for, I know I was throwing myself a pity party but-" 

"I want you. Me. This person. This!" 

Benrey pointed at themselves. 

"...Huh?" 

"It's sooo hard to cover it you don't understand, you don't...get it! It's so baddd agggggghhhh literally I can't stand It bro listen. I've been going after you, for months, fuckin' months, and you take me out on a date after our talk and that's just ohh that's the tipping point. You- you know how in Black Mesa, everything happened, blah blah we started over we made up we ahhhh we started living together and I helped you with your son, Bro did that show nothing? Did me coming after you after all this time mean nothing? After we talked it out and ahhhh, we talked it out and everything, and we bonded, bro we bonded! And you still don't know you still don't see signs or anything! And I thought this whole time you secretly hated me, and wish I would leave, and I was nervous being close and I was so comfortable too- I just don't understand how you're so dumb, but so fucking smart? How do you do that? Bro, and I was so scared I was being obvious, I was so anxious you were gonna find me out and you never did you never did aughhhh you never did it's so ahhh, frustratinggg.. every time you like, hugged me I felt so safe and so accepted and the fact you- you just were oblivious... And when you said you didn't care what we were I was sad. I was really sadddd I was so sad. I played video games and stayed up for a couple of weeks I was so sad. Tommy talked to me about it, you know Tommy, and he was a good guy about it and he made me feel better about it and then you take me on this date, looking amazing, stunning, like you could step into a room and make everyone jealous of you and you just play dumb and don't say anything! You just ohhh let me go on and on about fuckin' shit I didn't care about I was going to tear my hair out I was gonna go crazy. You just let me and- it felt so awful it hurt my heart, you know I have one? It's right here, and like, It hurt. When you did tha-" 

"Benrey." 

"And when you did that and then we just left-" 

"Benrey." 

"What?" 

".... I'm so sorry." 

"What." 

"I got tones but I wasn't sure, I genuinely had no idea it was like that for you, and I'm sorry." 

"...." 

Benrey sat, speechless in their seat. 

"....I didn't know how word it. God. I was scared too. I thought saying I didn't care was like...having this be..open ended, or something, But I guess I was wrong...I just..Benrey." 

"What is it." 

"...I really wanna fucking kiss you right now." 

Benrey's eyes widened. 

"Go...go ahead." 

Gordon wasted no time, grabbing Benrey by their shirt to kiss them. In order to meet their height properly, Gordon lifted himself upwards to wrap his arms around Benrey. They didn't kiss for very long, as Gordon's phone vibrated in the middle of it. 

"..You gotta be fucking kidding me." 

"Who is it-" 

"Coomer. He sent me a pic of Joshua playing with tiny Sunkist." 

"It's cute." 

"Yeah but bad timing right?" 

Benrey snatched the phone away. 

"I'm gonna tell them we're making out in your car in a Red Lobster parking lot." 

"Don't you fucking dare, asshole!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me listening to gordon be mean to benrey during the payday stream: i do not see it i do not hear it i am looking away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! Letting u guys Know im not consistent but also comments r my main motivators...love hearing ur thoughts <3

The whole situation after was rocky. Not necessarily rocky, but not smooth sailing either. After the two got home, the science team asked how it went, they said fine. Even if Gordon's hair was out of the ponytail it was in before the date. Coomer hadn't suspected anything had occurred, only that their date was lovely and they should go out more often. Bubby was neutral, obviously detecting something had happened. But for Coomer's sake, he stayed quiet. Tommy was just excited to be there. The science team bid farewell to Joshua, and departed soon after, on the case that Tommy looked like he was going to cry everytime he opened the door and looked back at Joshua. Evenutally he took a picture with the baby, and left. Afterwards, Gordon put Joshua to bed and fell onto the couch, his date outfit still on. 

"Holy shit." 

"What?" 

"Benrey we were in the car till like, two am that's horrible." 

"They like watching Joshua, bro, chill."

"No I mean- ...okay first off it's not really Joshua, I missed him while I was gone sure, but it was mostly about...the whole..hours in the car." 

"Whatt I thought it was like, romantic..bro was it not romantic." 

"It was but, listen buddy i'm just surprised at the whole thing, you think I planned to hear a confession at Red Lobster?" 

"You didn't?" 

Gordon rubbed his temples. 

"It's fine, really, it was just unexpected. At least I know now." 

"Know what." 

"About how you felt. And okay so what I was a little oblivious! You're not the best at getting things across." 

"Woah, hmmm...I don't know bro it seemed like you just said 'I kiss my buddy a little bit but it's not cringe sometimes you can kiss your buddies'." 

"I feel the same way! I like you and all, you just seem like this...maybe a little stoic brick wall and I was scared you wouldn't take me seriously." 

Benrey hummed, tapping their finger on the arm of the couch. 

"I do call you feetman." 

"Yeah exactly." 

"But I ..uhh didn't I ask for a kiss once or twice in Black Mesa did you not like.... pick up on anything there...haha."

The laugh at the end of their sentence sounded almost sad. 

"I just thought you were messing around! Trying to get under my skin!" 

"I said I liked the view in the vents." 

"...We don't talk about that."

"Lame." 

Gordon crossed his arms, before standing up and walking to the kitchen. Before Benrey could ask what he was doing, they heard the sound of a familar 'beep'. Gordon was making coffee. Benrey teleported into the kitchen, not bothering with walking or even talking to Gordon from the couch. 

"Hi." 

Benrey could've sworn they heard a noise of surprise, but they dismissed it. 

"Benrey, did you seriously teleport here." 

"Why wouldn't I." 

"Because you have... legs?" 

"Woahh I do? Crazy." 

They lifted their leg. 

"...You can go to bed or something, I have.. things to chart. It sucks, but whatever." 

"Ohhhhh that's why you're making coffee. Bro I thought you were just uh....just being weird for coffee." 

"Why would I- look, it won't even take long, i'll just get it over with and...sleep." 

Benrey squinted, and the lights in their eyes began to dim. 

"Uh huh...sure. I won't sleep either then." 

"What? Benrey, this is just... you're being kinda petty now."

The coffee maker finished, and Gordon reached up to the cabinet to grab a mug, only to have the cabinet be held closed by a hand. 

"Come on!" 

"Can I have some, bro." 

"..Go ahead! You don't even have to ask, you know." 

"Really?" 

"Yes? This is kinda your place as much as mine. As hard as it is to believe i'm living with you, I'm not gonna act like a total dick about it. So, yeah, as long as you don't go crazy i'm fine with it." 

Benrey took their hand off the cabinet. Two mugs came out of it, instead of the one Gordon originally planned on getting. 

"Define crazy... because umm...because people have different crazy meanings.." 

"Like eat the whole fridge." 

"The fridge itself?" 

"No, Benrey, the food that's in it." 

"Ohhhh okay I get it...." 

As the coffee was poured, Benrey watched curiously. They had coffee before, but usually it was in a workroom with a bunch of people they didn't talk to. Soda was more their thing, of course. The fact that they were with someone they felt comfortable around, felt cared about around, made everything about the coffee so much better. Otherwise, they couldn't be bothered to have any. 

"Do you want creamer?" 

"What." 

"Like, creamer. Y'know the stuff you put in coffee? Did we not have creamer at Black Mesa...? Or sugar?" 

"I just drank it how it was." 

"...black coffee?" 

"It's not bad. Still gross but whatever. I just drank soda anyway. I don't care." 

"Hold on." 

Gordon walked over to the fridge, pulling the rather large container of creamer out of it, before setting it on the counter. Then, he took his own mug, and poured a bit into the coffee. 

"Okay listen, so there's different flavors right? There's complicated dessert ones like cinnamon bun or cake or something like that, but I think the simple ones are better. Why would you want your fuckin coffee to taste like a cinnamon bun or a cupcake? It's coffee, just eat the thing you want- anyway, I'm getting off track, there's hazelnut, vanilla, and just regular cream with no certain flavor really. I get hazelnut, which is pretty good actually! But I don't know if you'll enjoy it, so if you don't I'll get like, another flavor or something. Who knows? Maybe you would like one of those dessert flavors, I won't judge- 

Gordon paused, and glanced at Benrey. He saw their elbow on the counter and their head in their hand, their eyes focused on him. Not only were they sort of, mesmerized by his appearance, but his voice was almost hypnotic. 

"...did you listen to all that?" 

"You talk a lot, bro." 

"Sorry?" 

"Don't be. I dunno, I like hearing you talk sometimes, even if you're yelling at me or something.. but sometimes I just wanna bbbbbbb interrupt. I held it back though you'd probably go wild." 

"..Thanks." 

Gordon felt like the coffee would get cold, staring at Benrey for what felt like hours. But then he snapped out of it, offering his mug to his...what did he even call them now? He would ask later. Benrey squinted at it, before laughing a little and accepting. They sipped for a few seconds. Seconds turned into almost half a minute when Benrey returned the mug, empty. 

"Holy fuck. You just...you just drank the whole thing?" 

"Is that a trick question."

"...I.... I'm not surprised! I'm not surprised by anything you do anymore honestly, drinking a whole mug of coffee in half a minute is probably the least freakiest thing you can do." 

"This was yours though, whattt you just let me drink it." 

"There's another mug here, I'll just drink from this." 

"Oh shit, right. Ahhh...right." 

Gordon poured the creamer into the second mug before putting it away, and then taking a sip. 

"I should probably change out of this dress huh... It's nice but it's sort of.." 

"I like it." 

"Yeah but I'm not gonna roam around the house in a date dress, Benrey, i'm gonna change really quick." 

"...uhhh.. okay?" 

Gordon stepped out of the kitchen, and as his footsteps faded, Benrey grabbed the mug. Would Gordon be mad if they chugged it?... probably.

By the time Gordon returned, the mug was empty. And Gordon was indeed, a bit mad. 

"You're kidding." 

"Whoops." 

"Benrey I know the coffee fucking tastes great but you didn't need to drink the whole mug!" 

"Uhhh...I didn't do that." 

"Really?" 

"It was... A coffee ghost...I had to fight it to make it go away, it was an epic battle..." 

"That's ridiculous." 

"It's fine." 

Benrey leaned down to gently kiss Gordon, before pulling away to walk to the living room. 

"Now you got some of it." 

Gordon stood there for a minute, his face warm, with a blank expression. First off, fucked up that Benrey drank his coffee, on another, that was a very gross, yet cheesy move. He felt like cursing, but hesitated, going to the living room to join Benrey on the couch. Then he pulled out his phone and opened the document he was supposed to work on. 

"That looks boring." 

"It is, it's just charting data.... shit sucks."

Benrey sang a little while Gordon tapped on the phone. It was good background noise for awhile, before Benrey stopped. Gordon didn't mind, absolutely focused on his work anyway, though, he was a bit fidgety. Benrey scooted closer, leaning against Gordon just a bit to keep him still. The only sound then was just breathing and the tapping of fingers on a phone screen. Benrey looked down out of boredom to Gordon's shirt, not noticing it before really, only to find out it wasn't...one of his shirts. In fact, it was one of Benrey's. They could tell because one, it couldn't fit him well, and two, it had the words 'Don't piss me off, i'm close to leveling up, and you look like just enough XP' on it. It was an atrocious shirt, and Gordon knew it, but probably felt too tired to care when he put it on. 

"...Yo, that's not yours." 

"What is?" 

Gordon didn't look up from his phone. 

"The shirt, bro, that's mine." 

"Oh. Wow I didn't even...notice. I just rummaged through the closet blindly." 

"Well...okay. okay um." 

Benrey rubbed the back of their neck. 

"..Should I change or..?" 

"Huh?.. no? Just keep it on I guess." 

Gordon tugged at the hem of the shirt, staring at the text. 

"This is so- hah...this is so dumb." 

"It's an epic gamer shirt and you're dissing it."

"It's not epic, and you'll see it again..sometime tomorrow when I take a shower." 

"You mean today." 

"Right! Right." 

Gordon laughed. 

Benrey almost kissed him again. 

"I'll.. I'll get back to it." 

A yawn was heard after the statement, and Benrey began to doubt Gordon would be awake for long. 

Those doubts were justified when Gordon's eyelids started to droop, the grip on his phone getting loose, and his tapping rhythm being set off. Gordon's head fell against Benrey, giving them the idea to wrap their arm around him. Once his breathing started to slow, Benrey gently plucked the phone from Gordon's hands, nervous that the man would just.. mindlessly drop it. 

"...Benrrreeeyyyy....give that back." 

"You're like half asleep no way." 

".....whatever. fuck it..." 

Gordon closed his eyes. 

"...Love you." 

Benrey gasped quietly, before trying to contain a yellow and pink sweet voice bubbling up in their mouth.

"..uhhhhhh..." 

They didn't speak for a minute, unable to find the right words to say in return. A jab? An insult? A joke? A...

"L...love...l..." 

They stuttered. 

"....love you...too?"

Benrey swore they saw Gordon smile in his sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings..Gordon freaks out because of *throws dart* yknow how he freaked it when his vision went dark in the payday stream? Yeah. Mostly warning for a light description of a panic attack but it works out I promise

He was back. 

Why was he back? 

The familar walls of the facility seemed to close in on him, trapping him, keeping him in place. He wasn't supposed to be there. This place wasn't supposed to exist anymore, why was it there? And then it came back to him. It was the same dream as last time, the same dark, lonely Black Mesa setting. There were no scientists, no science team. No Benrey. Gordon groaned, annoyed more than anything. The dream was getting tiresome, boring even, as it was replayed every now and then more than any other dream. Nothing changed. The same awful atmosphere, the same silence, the same doors. He just settled for walking through the halls, not disturbed by 'ropes' or peeper puppies or even soldiers. It was almost peaceful, in its own sick way. Gordon wanted to wake up already, wanted to see Joshua and Benrey awake in the living room while he slept in like he always did on his days off. But of course, of course it's the Black Mesa dream of course. 

Then the lights went out. 

The lights never went out. It was the same, dull, flickering lights everywhere in the dream, that's how it was, why was it different? 

Fear shot through his veins, and before he could even anticipate hands on him, he woke up, gripping his right hand as if he would die without it. There were no tears, but he felt some start to appear in the corners of his eyes. Gordon shook his head, rubbing his eyes before trying to move. For some reason, he failed, seemingly held in place by something...or someone. Benrey. Benrey had their arms wrapped around him, and for some reason, they were in his bed. He could've sworn he fell asleep on the couch, but assumed Benrey carried him to the room. 

"Was it that bad." 

Gordon jumped, shaking Benrey in the process. The fact that he probably woke up Benrey made him feel guilty, wishing the dreams didn't affect him as much as they did. When would they stop, anyway? The incident was way behind him, he shouldn't be so hung up about it. 

"Yeah, sorry about that...fuck.."

He sighed, and turned to look at Benrey. 

"Bro that was like, the first..bad one in awhile." 

"Yeah- Yeah I know." 

"World record." 

"Not really, I'd rather have no dreams at all if they're all gonna suck this much."

"They don't all suck though...uhh Am I in any of them." 

"Are you really asking if you're in my dreams, buddy?" 

"Yessss.."

Benrey squeezed Gordon lightly, before shaking him a bit. 

"Hey! Okay okay, yes, yes! You're in some of my dreams, happy?" 

"What kind of dreams?" 

"Weird abstract ones- we-we're...hah, we're changing the topic." 

"Like ones where I'm opening a jar?" 

"That's not weird, or abstract." 

"On fire?" 

"That's more nightmare than dream, Benrey." 

"Wow, woah, okay." 

Benrey shrugged. 

"It's like, time to get up anyway, if you were worried about fuckin uhhh waking up at three am." 

"Really?" 

Gordon grabbed his phone from behind him, holding the bright screen up to his face. 

"Did you just-" 

"Yes I fucking blinded myself, Benrey." 

"Dummy."

"Asshole."

They laughed, before letting go of Gordon and sliding off of the bed. 

"Where are you goin'?" 

"Getting Joshy, obviously." 

Benrey held up a peace sign, fading away. Gordon hated when they did that. 

Then he yawned, putting his phone down, before grabbing his glasses. The lenses were slightly smudged, but nothing too compromising. Gordon left them that way as he walked out of his room, through the hallway, and into the living room. The scene there made him smile a bit, Joshua waving a cup around as Benrey watched. 

"He needs to-"

Benrey held up their other hand, shaking a bottle. 

"I already warmed it and everything, in like..seconds."

"How did you- nevermind." 

Gordon waved at Joshua. 

"Yo, feetman, I got this." 

"You're gonna feed him?" 

"Sure." 

Not expected, but Gordon wasn't complaining. Feeding was the easy part most of the time. He quickly logged the time onto his phone and sighed, before moving to the kitchen. Then he remembered, soon Joshua was gonna stop the bottle all together in a few days, at least, that's what he thought. Joshua threw sippy cups at Benrey's face a few times when they gave one to them, resulting in Benrey getting multiple sippy cup related injuries. Even if they were all hilarious, Gordon came to the conclusion that Joshua wasn't ready to move on. For some reason, when he reached for a mug from the cabinet, he stared at his right hand, fixated on the scar on the wrist. It was clean, and clearly visible. The unreal operation it needed was unknown to Gordon's mind, seeing as it appeared after losing the gun that was in its place in a mysterious flash. Though it was mysterious, Gordon tried not to think about it, believing it would all give him a headache if he shook his brain that much. 

"You lagging?" 

He must've zoned out. 

"What?" 

Benrey stood in the entrance of the kitchen, holding Joshua in their arms. 

"You were frozen in place haha, Wi-Fi must be awful." 

"...No, no it isn't that." 

Gordon groaned, putting his right hand down with his left, keeping it pinned to his side. 

"Bro is your hand okay?" 

"It's fine." 

"But you-" 

"I said. It's fine. I'm just.. recollecting, buddy." 

Joshua made a random babble, before hitting Benrey's arm. 

"Okay well, I just wanted to say Joshy finished the whole thing. Catch." 

Gordon's right hand shot out to catch the bottle almost as soon as Benrey tossed it. 

"Um, got it? I guess." 

He shook it, then filled it with soap and water in the sink. Meanwhile, Benrey had left, realizing that Gordon needed a moment. For some reason, the sudden thought of Benrey being able to recognize the event they would need to not bother him for once, made him shudder. If he could hit himself, he would. His hand found itself reaching for a mug again, grabbing it from the cabinet and placing it carefully on the counter. The dull, red coloring on it almost seemed to mock him. "Maybe I should buy different mugs," he thought. And then he thought, "No, mugs aren't the damn problem, it's my stupid inability to move on from the past." A rather loud sigh found itself coming out of his mouth. Eyes rolled, coffee was made, coffee was poured, coffee was...consumed, all in one seemingly swift move. Where was Benrey? Usually they would pop in to shake him once or twice, give him a hug or a poke. But his question was answered almost immediately. The sounds of a game being played touched his ears, out of pure coincidence. Then Joshua's babbling. He knew he was trying to say Benrey with all his little might, but just couldn't grasp it. Gordon scratched his arm nervously, eyes darting around the kitchen. What to do? He couldn't face the fact he was stood in the kitchen for almost half an hour, so he walked out, to the living room. Joshua was in a high chair, watching Benrey play video games with the volume up just right. Gordon squinted at the screen. 

"There's a guy flanking behind your team." 

"What?" 

Benrey leaned forwards, before eliminating the guy Gordon was talking about. 

"How did you even know that, are you hacking? In real life?" 

"Benrey, the footsteps were loud as f- loud as.. y'know, you were just focused on sniping the easy target in the distance." 

"They were standing still." 

"On purpose!" 

"Whatever." 

Mashing buttons, Benrey huffed, before laughing out of nowhere. 

"Feetman, that wasn't even the last member." 

"Okay well, it could've been- on your right." 

Shot down. 

"Stop being a backseat gamer." 

"I'm helping you out, as- jerk." 

"Language."

Joshua giggled. 

"What time is it? Are you playing video games in the morning?" 

Benrey held up their phone with a free hand....? Gross. Extra hand. 

"Eugh, never... never do that again- god, It's noon?" 

"Hiiiiigghhh noon." 

"That was disgusting to hear. N-never-" 

Gordon paused to laugh. 

"Never say that again!" 

"I do what I want, feetman, I'm- I'm a free person...uhh.." 

Benrey smirked. 

"Oh my god, don't say it-" 

"And you're a free-man." 

"I wanna strangle you so bad right now." 

"But you can't! HA HA HA." 

Gordon gently took Joshua out of the high chair, before sliding him into the walker. 

"If you stand up, Joshua is gonna obliterate your ankles with this bad boy." 

"What the.." 

Benrey looked back to see Joshua walking around aimlessly, bumping into the wall only once or twice. The sound of rolling wheels actually terrified Benrey enough to make them stay on the couch. 

"Now you're trapped, while I make cereal." 

"This is evil." 

Despite Benrey's jabs, Gordon happily walked back into the kitchen, making himself a bowl of cereal. Feeling bad, he made Benrey one too, walking back out to hold it in front of their face. The cereal was gone in an instant, as if Benrey inhaled the stuff. The bowl, however, teleported out of Gordon's hand into the sink. He heard the small clink sound, telling him it actually made it that time. The whole teleporting thing was relatively easy to get used to, despite how weird it was out of things Benrey could do. He rubbed at his temple, scoffed and sat down to eat his own bowl. 

The rest of the day was calm, a regular day off with a few funny things scattered around. Though, when it started to get dark outside, Gordon felt something. He, for some reason, got the urge to call Tommy. Pulling out his phone, he stared at the contact list, before tapping on Tommy's picture. 

"Hello?" 

"Tommy! Hey! Just checkin' in, how are you?" 

"I'm good, Mr.Freeman! Darnold came to visit, he's showing me how he makes soda!" 

"That's- that's great! Um... Yeah, nice." 

"Is something wrong?"

"What?" 

Gordon perked up, fixing his glasses at Tommy's question. 

"No...no no, everything's good! I'm just...tired." 

"Hmmm...Okaaayy- oh! So that's- so I can make it any flavor?" 

Tommy's focus went to Darnold, probably. 

"Hey, have fun, Tommy." 

"I will! Oh! We'll talk later, Mr.Freeman?"

"Yeah, Yeah of course!" 

Gordon hung up quickly, putting his phone down on the counter. When he heard footsteps, he looked up, staring at the.. obvious person that entered. 

"What's going on." 

"I was checking in on Tommy! He's making soda." 

"Oh, okay." 

Benrey sighed, and checked the clock on their phone. 

"Yo, it's like uuhh... Eight..eight... in the pms." 

"Yeah it is, and that's important to know...?" 

"You've been losin' it...tch...been putting your brain out in the sun or something." 

"I know! I'm...tired, I think. I'll be better tomorrow-"

Suddenly, the sound of tires skidding hit Gordon's ears, and the sound of sparks flying right after. Benrey looked out the window immediately, eyes flashing with light. 

And then everything went dark. 

Again. 

Except it wasn't a dream. 

"The cars okay, idiot hit the box or something....not a pro gamer move...total epic fail-" 

Benrey's vision fell on Gordon, who fell to his knees as soon as the lights went out. Their bright eyes made him hold an arm up. Then, their breath hitched, and they went down to his level in order to try and talk. 

"Gordon?" 

Gordon covered his eyes, his glasses almost falling off of his face. He was shaking, breathing heavily, sweating. If Benrey didn't know about what happened before, they would've assumed he was sick. Even when they poked him, he didn't budge. They grabbed their phone, dialing a certain number immediately. 

"Uhhhh...Coomer..." 

"Hello, Benrey! What has prompted this lovely call of yours?" 

"Gordon... Uhhh... he's freaking out. About. The...power..outage." 

"Oh..oh! Oh my, yes this is troubling, where is Gordon?" 

"On the floor." 

"Well get him off of that!" 

Benrey made an uncertain noise, before gently lifting Gordon with one hand. Gordon scrambled, his hands flying through the air aimlessly, sounds of distress filled Benrey's ears. They considered dropping him for a second. 

"He's tryin' to hit me broooo this isn't cool!" 

"He's only reacting that way because of bad memories related to darkness! Remember the um...the...oh dear, how do I describe it...safely..?" 

"When the snip snip thing happened? The beatdown?-" 

Gordon groaned. 

"Benrey, you might need to tread carefully! And think about your words! Gordon is very vulnerable at this time!"

"Ahhh I'm not a pro at...thiss what does this...what does he...need." 

"I think he just needs comfort! Reassurance! Positive energy!"

Benrey nodded. 

"I'm good at that." 

"Are you?" 

"....yesssss....thank you...." 

"Okay well, good luck and stay safe, you two!" 

"You too......hah." 

Benrey hung up, and put their phone away. They used their now free hand to carry Gordon properly. He still struggled, trying to wiggle out of Benrey's hold on him. They huffed, carrying him to the living room and onto the couch. 

"Shhhhh...umm..shhh? Shhhh." 

The whole contact thing threw Gordon into a panic, as if he was being attacked all over again. 

"What are you-" 

"I'm trying to.... soothe....calm down bro chill chill." 

Gordon's hands shook. 

"....Oh.." 

Benrey sighed, closed their eyes, and opened them again. The light now a calm brightness, instead of blinding. Gordon's hands clutched their shirt tightly, his head only slightly tilting upwards to see the illuminated area. A bit of sweet voice helped in calming him down as well, the soft pink generating almost a soothing aura around them. The hands' grip on their shirt loosened, and finally let go. The gripping gradually turned into a hug. The shaking had ceased as well. No more whimpers, no more thrashing or struggling. Benrey stroked Gordon's back, whispering reassuring words that Gordon wouldn't expect from them. The words were so foreign, and their tone came out of nowhere. 

"... You're good, you're okay, nobody's gonna... hurt ya." 

"You sure?" 

Gordon laughed sadly. 

"Yeah..Yeah, as long as....you got me, nobody's gonna hurt any of us. Not me, not you, and most importantly...not Joshua. They're gonna have to fight like a total beast to do that." 

"Woahhh so tough and brave." 

"I'm trying to sound cool and romantic and it's totally working because you're- HA, you're looking like a tomato." 

"Shut up." 

"HA HA HA." 

Benrey recieved a playful punch in the arm, and a kiss on the cheek. There was a buzzing noise, and then, the lights came back. 

"That was quick." 

"They speedran that power outage." 

"Sure did, Bud." 

Gordon rubbed his eyes. 

"Remind me to get a gen-" 

He was cut off, by admittedly, one of the sweetest kisses he'd ever recieved from Benrey.

"...a what huh?"

"A generator, rudeass." 

"What's a generator?" 

"Jesus Christ." 

"I don't know what that is."

"You're so lucky I love you."

"You love me? Ewww...." 

"Ok now I don't love you anymore." 

"Yes you doooooo..." 

Benrey kissed Gordon on the forehead, before flicking his nose. 

"Haha. Little feetman loves me. This is- this is going in my cringe comp."

"Fuck off." 

"Never." 

Gordon leaned against Benrey, closing his eyes. 

"Okay see now that's cringeworthy, why are you like- calling me cringe, when you're cheesy and awful any chance you get?" 

Benrey scoffed. 

"You're leaning against me right now that's cringe as fuck, bro." 

"I just like- I like contact, okay?" 

"You sure do, you hug me all the time." 

"Hey, skin to skin contact was hard in that suit!" 

"Except for your faaaceee.." 

Gordon's face was poked gently. 

"Stop- really though that whole time, after being here alone-" 

"Alone? How did you-" 

"My brother came over when I was at work and stuff, umm....listen I don't wanna talk too much about before that." 

"Feetman lore." 

"Yeah." 

Gordon cleared his throat, going silent before Benrey spoke up.

"That's fine." 

"Really?" 

"Bro I met you in the craziest place... ever, and I bothered the shit out of you...and I...uhhh I still. Still do that. And then. And then like everything bad happened and whatever and blah blah we made up I said this- I said this already." 

"And that whole time you were like, after me." 

"....ehhhh.." 

Benrey waved their hand. 

"You totally were and I didn't notice!" 

"Yeah you're dumb for that one." 

"Benrey." 

Gordon chuckled, before running his fingers through Benrey's hair. 

"Woahhh hair touching...so inappropriate." 

"What- that's not even- fuck it." 

He gave up trying to argue or talk back, and instead, he pat Benrey's head. 

"Fucked up."

"Are you saying I can't pat your head ever? You mess up my hair and pat my head all the time." 

"Yeah but that's different." 

Gordon's hands moved to Benrey's back, patting there instead. 

"How are you so warm." 

"I'm a fuckin' heater BRRRRRRR." 

"Dumb- dumbass!" 

"I'm going crazy i'm going wild ahhh i'm a fuckin' frying pan." 

Benrey laughed after the sentence. They hugged Gordon back, holding him tightly. Usually, when they hugged, Gordon hung on like a koala. Though, maybe being a tangle of limbs and heat was a bad idea in the current case. As they were thinking, Gordon kissed their neck, catching them off guard. They shivered.

"What the- FUUUCKKKK.." 

Pink. Pink Black Mesa sweet voice came from their mouth. Gordon was laughing anyway, watching the display with a sense of pride. 

"Cheater, hacker. You're soooo fucked up." 

"Should've paid attention." 

"Ahhhh." 

"You usually surprise me so I thought.... I'd surprise you for once. Get some payback...I guess."

"I'm soooo mad i'm so mad." 

Benrey stuck their head into the crook of Gordon's neck, growling into it. Gordon jumped, grabbing Benrey's shoulders and shaking them lightly. 

"Hey!" 

"I'm gonna bite you." 

"No! Hey hey hey no! No way!" 

Gordon put his hand on Benrey's head. 

"If you bite me you're sleeping on the couch, dumbass!" 

"Okay woah woah. Alone?" 

"Alone." 

"Evil." 

Benrey kissed the skin there instead, before going upwards. 

"That- Benrey-" 

"Hey it's totally cool."

They stopped of course, pulling back to put their forehead against Gordon's. Their hand clasped his as well. 

"Isn't this scandalous?" 

"... Benrey don't start this. There's nothing scandalous about hand holding." 

"There's lots of ... scandalous things there's soooo many I should- I should sue you." 

"Oh my god." 

"I should. I should." 

"Just hold my fucking hand-" 

"Okay." 

Benrey didn't make any other jabs, sitting there with Gordon in silence, hands held. 

Until Gordon spoke up. 

"Wanna know what my dream was about?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The science team goes to the Amusement park EXCEPT it's mostly from Gordon's summarized perspective, so no super detailed roller coaster ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIII IM ALIVE AND HERE'S THE NEXT UPDATE. AMUSEMENT PARK TIME BABY. Warnings? Not a lot. Maybe implied sad freeman backstory, maybe not! And the black mesa experience is touched upon, like when Gordon lost his hand. Otherwise nothing too out there! Maybe discussion of fear of heights? (Tumblr is fnafvr btw le shameless promo)

"An amusement park?" 

Gordon tilted his head at Tommy. 

"Yeah! It'd be super fun and..everyone can go! Unless they're afraid of amusement parks.." 

Joshua was a little..small, for an amusement park. But it wasn't like he was going on any rides, obviously. 

"I dunno, might freak out Joshy or...something, he's never been to an amusement park." 

Tommy smiled reassuringly, patting Gordon on the back. 

"If you're concerned for Joshua, Mr. Freeman, that's okay! I won't make you go." 

The amusement park would be a welcome distraction, and a good break from work for a small amount of time. The last time Gordon went to an amusement park, was before Joshua, and with- with uh. With.... Gordon shook his head, lightly patting his face. 

"No, actually... I've seen plenty of babies at amusement parks, I have..no idea what I'm thinking." 

He did have an idea about what he was thinking, contradicting his statement. Maybe it wasn't Joshua he was worried about. Well, of course he was worried for Joshua, he was his son. But for him, going to the amusement park might cheer him up, or remind him of past times where he'd been to one with someone he doesn't want to/can't remember. If Joshua and the team were going to have fun, though, who was he to stop them? 

"So that means.... amusement park?" 

Tommy's eyes were sparkling as he asked, and Gordon would probably be sinister to say no. So with a soft sigh, Gordon answered. 

"..Yes, yes amusement park." 

"Woo!" 

Gordon realized after a second that the taller of them both had picked him up, and spun him around. Tommy was basically radiating with excitement. 

"Okay! Woah there-" 

His voice cracked as Tommy spun him one more time. Afterwards, putting him down. It not only surprised him because Tommy never picked him up before, but also because Tommy never seemed so..strong? It wasn't an insult, it was just Gordon seeing for the first time how much the guy could carry. 

"Sorry, Mr. Freeman, I'm just happy you said yes!" 

"You are?" 

"I mean- Yes? Mr. Freeman, you look like you need...something good! And- And everyone else is gonna be there too, doesn't that sound nice?" 

"Thank you, Tommy, that does sound nice." 

The topic got Gordon thinking. What was in an amusement park again? Why was it different from a theme park? 

"Amusement parks don't have a theme, they're just random rides and games." 

"How did you-" 

"So you're going, I'll get ready, you can get everyone ready too! I'll see you later, Mr. Freeman!" 

Then, Tommy quickly ran out after a small wave. 

Gordon was confused, to say the least, but didn't question the weird answer further. 

Instead of that, he went to his room, and looked on as Benrey played on their phone with Joshua in their lap. 

"We're going to an amusement park!" 

He spread his arms out, exaggerating the announcement. 

"We're going to a wuh? An amusement park?" 

Joshua babbled something, and slapped at Benrey's hand. 

"An amusement park. You know, rides, games, prizes...all of that stuff?" 

"Never heard of it." 

"You're bluffing." 

"What's bluffing." 

Gordon stared at Benrey's expression for a good second, trying to find out if they were serious or not. 

"...Amusement park. Fun place? Ring a bell?" 

"Nah. Are there video games there?" 

"No? Like hit the balloon with a dart type stuff? Where you win a stuffed bear? Maybe there's an arcade?" 

"Oh like, old school shit. Cool." 

"Its not- Okay, whatever, I'm not gonna get put off by this. I'm taking Joshua and hopefully? taking you too." 

Benrey huffed in frustration as the sad tune of their game signalled a "Game Over". 

"I lost anyway." 

"So you're coming with?" 

"Uhhhh...yeah.. yep." 

"Nice! Okay, get ready-" 

"I am ready." 

"Benrey, you're wearing a hoodie and some sweatpants." 

Benrey looked down at his outfit, then pat Joshua on the head. 

"You don't like.. what I'm wearing, or- or what." 

"I mean... it's pajamas...?" 

Gordon said it like a question, unsure if the attire was just...all that Benrey wore nowadays. Different hoodies, different pants, but same order. 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"Mmm....mhm, okay...okay yeah uh... I'll take off the hoodie." 

"Big change." 

"Hoodie stays on now." 

"Aw- fu- Benrey!" 

"Jokes. I'm playing you, dum dum." 

Benrey put their phone away, and picked up Joshua, before handing him to Gordon. 

"Please don't wear one of those outrageous gamer shirts, I don't think I can recover from 'Parent by day, gamer by night'." 

"That was.. such a hot item. Ugh." 

They sighed while looking through the drawers. 

"You promise you'll pick something good?" 

"Yeah. I promise." 

\-----

They did not pick something good. 

In fact, they picked something horrible. 

"Are you kidding me?" 

Gordon's outfit just consisted of a white shirt and a flannel, with jeans. It was basic, but compared to Benrey it was probably trendsetting. 

"Bro this shirt is fucking...epic. It's awesome, you're just.. tasteless. Bleh." 

"Benrey... it says, and I quote. 'Eat. Sleep. Fortnite. Repeat'." 

"It has the battle bus." 

"God. Okay, I'll run with it. Joshua's all dressed up for this, though, see?" 

Gordon lifted up the car seat to show Joshua babbling enthusiastically. 

"...That shirt has a whale on it." 

"He likes whales." 

Benrey smacked their lips, before looking to the door. 

"We going?" 

"Yeah, lemme just-" 

"I'll carry the baby bag." 

"Really?" 

"Mhm just...hand it over.." 

They wiggled their fingers, before Gordon carefully handed the bag to them. 

"There's a lot of um.. snacks, and supplies and the usual." 

"There's no baby in the bag? What the fuck, false advertising." 

Gordon held in a laugh, and opened the door, gesturing vaguely towards the car with his free hand. 

Benrey followed, bag in hand, their other hand in their pocket. 

Once they were in the car, Joshua safely inside and Benrey in the backseat with him, Gordon sighed with relief. 

Hopefully the trip there would be smooth, and hopefully they would have fun at an amusement park of all places. 

It sounded nice. 

He thought about it while he drove, car filled with whatever music was on the radio, wifh Benrey's phone making video game-esque noises. Thought about how fun it would be to hang out with the whole team again, talk, just..be there. Their presence sounded like such a breath of fresh air. 

It was an understatement to say that Gordon was surprised to watch time freeze, the only thing still moving being Benrey. Who wasn't even a thing, but a person. 

The feeling of dread was too familiar, and the cold wind of the passenger seat stopping didn't comfort him any more than Benrey's quiet noise of confusion. 

He was so close too, just a couple of blocks away from the park. 

"Dr. Freeeman." 

Gordon didn't answer, he didn't want to answer, he didn't want to look to his right. 

Benrey answered for him. 

"Yo what the fuck, bro I think the car is broken." 

"It's not broken, Benrey."

Benrey looked to the passenger seat, their expression changing immediately.

"...Oh shit! It's the... the uh...the..wow...the guy who.. doesn't have Playstation-"

"Um..oh...please.. quiet down, just...Please." 

The unwelcome visitor spoke, his hand already on his temple. He shifted in his seat, ready to leave at any second. 

"What are you doing here?" 

Gordon's grip on the steering wheel tightened. 

"What am I..doing here? What are, any of us..doing here, I wonder?"

"Cut it out. Just..tell me." 

"You seem..busy, Dr. Freeman. Is this..a bad time?" 

"It is. It really is, so get it out." 

"Hmm... impatient. I will get straight to the point-" 

"What's your psn... tag." 

"What- no, we..we are..um..not doing this again." 

"Aw man." 

The visitor cleared his throat. 

"A-Anyway, Dr. Freeman, I've noticed that..I haven't contacted you in quite awhile.." 

"Good." 

"...Hm...Yes, so, I thought...it would be good to contact you now. Physically." 

"Sure." 

One word answers were all the guy was going to get out of Gordon, as long as time was frozen, as long as his trip was delayed. 

"... Our deal, Dr. Freeman. It took quite a toll on the..fabric, of reality. A hefty price.." 

Oh yeah, that thing Gordon forgot about shortly after he got home from the lab. That deal. 

"Mhm." 

"Now..your end, I would like to discuss." 

"Now?" 

"Now." 

"...Why?" 

Gordon groaned, it just had to be on the day he wanted to have fun with his friends. 

"Well, Mr. Freeman, it was such a...big favor. I had to.. pull a lot of strings...to make this work." 

"Why. Now." 

"... It's been a long time." 

"It's been a few goddamn months, you couldn't just wait?" 

"Half a year..is long..to me." 

Gordon wanted to slam his head on the steering wheel, but the urge was pushed away and stomped on. 

Benrey finally spoke up, raising their hand. 

"What deal. I'm lost.. like..for once." 

"This...This is something I didn't..wanna think about, Benrey." 

"So why are ya thinkin' about it?" 

"I'm still here." 

The visitor pat the dashboard. 

"Just tell me what you want so I can go to the park already." 

Benrey went silent. 

"Right..as I was saying.. Your end..will need to be held up, very soon." 

"Just say it! Stop with this stupid, ominous tone, I-I just- um." 

Gordon stared into his eyes, watched them glow as a sort of warning. He knew he couldn't hurt him, but it didn't make him any less unnerved. 

"Your end. Is still a discussion. I will tell you..when I'm ready. Consider this.. a checkpoint." 

"Sure. Sure. Whatever." 

"I'm done. I will...see you later, Mr. Freeman." 

"Hope not." 

Then he was gone. Time resumed, the radio burst back to life with a loud guitar solo, and the cold wind was back. 

"Nothing he said..made sense huh." 

Benrey broke the silence, their phone making noise again as well. 

"Yeah...wait. D-Did he..move the car?" 

The car had indeed moved, they were now in the amusement park parking lot instead of the road. Wasn't the weirdest thing to happen. 

"Fuck yeah we're here." 

"Language." 

"Joshys asleep." 

"Still!" 

"I'll get him out." 

Benrey grabbed the seat, and the bag, before handing the bag to Gordon. 

The stroller Gordon brought was a gift from Darnold, something not too fancy, but still stable. 

Darnold never mentioned how expensive the thing was, but did comment on how the old stroller 'wasn't adequate'. 

He watched Benrey put Joshua in the stroller, figured they would have it down, and started to walk to the entrance. 

The team was waiting there, probably not wanting to go inside without the two- three other members of the team. (Coomer recently added Joshua by patting him on the back and giving him a tiny lab coat.) 

"Mr. Freeman!" 

Tommy held his hands up and waved, Bubby and Coomer joining in. 

"Hey! Science team!" 

"Science team!" 

Tommy ran over, laughing, before gently pulling Gordon over to where Bubby and Coomer were standing. 

Benrey followed, pushing the stroller over. 

"Yo, Tommy-" 

"Benrey!" 

Of course Benrey was next to be greeted. When Tommy realized Joshua was asleep, he put his face near the stroller and whispered. 

"Helloooo Joshua." 

Then, he stepped back and patted Bubby on the shoulder.

"What is it?" 

"Do we have-" 

"Oh, yes, we do. Also, Hi Gordon." 

"Hello Gordon!" 

Coomer quickly waved again. 

Bubby pulled out a card, as well as a wallet. 

"This isn't mine." 

"You stole it, Bubby?" 

"I sure as hell did!" 

He waved the card and wallet around, before leading everyone to the entrance booth. 

The woman working there looked up from her book, staring at the group like they were out of place. Well, they were, but she didn't know that. 

"Um...Hello? Welcome to-" 

"We know what this place is called, we would like cards, and I happen to have a fast pass and-" 

Bubby dug through the wallet, whispering 'Holy shit that guy was loaded' under his breath. 

"A hundred dollars!" 

"That's nice, um...?" 

"Sir." 

"Sir, but our prices for cards and passes are to the right of this window. I could help you out, if needed?" 

"...I would like fourrr....four uh..." 

Bubby counted on his fingers, before looking back towards Gordon. 

Gordon held up a five. 

"Five golden cards. Unless the baby needs a card." 

"Oh, no sir the baby doesn't need one-" 

"Good! Take this!" 

Bubby slammed the hundred dollar bill on the counter. 

The woman shuddered while she took the bill, and held it up towards the light of the booth, one eye closed. 

"Why is she looking at it like that?" 

Coomer pointed upwards. 

"Well Bubby, she needs to make sure it's real! When you slap a hundred down, people need to make sure it's authentic-" 

"But it is real." 

A sigh was heard from the booth. 

"It's real, sorry, just protocol. So golden cards for everyone?" 

"That's right!" 

"Here you go!" 

The woman handed the cards to Bubby, her eyes closed. 

"Have fun here at- oh.." 

When she opened her eyes, the team was gone. 

"How strange..." 

The team wouldn't really hear her last comment, as they were already well on their way to the first attraction. 

Gordon pointed out the fact that every ride Bubby and Coomer wanted to go on was either something with a drop, or something with a loop. Tommy wanted to go on a rollercoaster or two, and Benrey...Benrey stuck to the games. When they weren't on rides, they were talking and laughing with eachother, soda in their hands. Gordon though, was hesitant to go on anything too risky. Usually he would jump at the opportunity to ride on a slingshot or something that went upside down, even a boat. But someone had to stay with Joshua, and everyone else going on their own rides seemed to be having a lot of fun. It was quiet, while Gordon tapped on his phone and gave Joshua snacks when he woke up. He wouldn't have to eat for a couple of hours, but snacks never hurt anybody. The sound of babbling got louder when Gordon started to push the stroller around, checking in on Tommy joining Benrey at a ducks and hoops game. Benrey was using the card at record speed, acknowledging it seeming almost infinite. 

Tommy threw a hoop on a duck in the center, instantly winning a giant plushie of some character from a show Gordon didn't know. 

The game seemed fun enough, even though every time Benrey lost, a little Black Mesa Sweet Voice came out of their mouth.

When Tommy walked off to grab food, Benrey threw a hoop perfectly onto a duck in the center, confusing Gordon. 

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Yeah. Look. I get that big dog now." 

Benrey pointed towards a bright pink dog a worker was holding. 

"How did you all of a sudden win this? You have a bunch of keychain plushies in your pockets-" 

"Tommy was a good luck charm." 

"But you-" 

"Jealous?" 

"What- No! I think it's good Tommy is a good luck charm for you-" 

"Kidding." 

Benrey chuckled, holding up the dog plushie towards the sky. 

"Cute. Ya gonna name it?" 

"...mhm...uhhhhhhh punch...er...." 

"You're gonna name a plushie 'Puncher'?"

"What about Benny." 

"That's really close to your name." 

"Tch." 

Benrey set the plushie on the stroller, an arm hanging over enough for Joshua to tug on it. 

"Well, I think Joshua likes Benny already." 

Gordon smiled, and reached over to give Benrey a side-hug, before deciding against it. When he heard someone scoff, it became obvious Benrey noticed the attempt. And after a few seconds, they pulled Gordon over and gave him a real, full on, hug. 

"Woah there-" 

"Hug?" 

"We're already hugging, Benrey." 

"...hhhhhuuggggg." 

They let go, only to wrap their arms around Gordon's waist and pick him up. Soon, the man was over their shoulder. 

"What the- Benrey, put me down!" 

"Why bro..why.....this is so cool, and we're having fun. And you're like..on my shoulder. Like a parrot. It's cool." 

"Gonna push the stroller with one hand then?" 

"Yess...." 

A loud, familiar voice almost made Gordon fall. 

"I got funnel cake!- Oh." 

Tommy held two plates of funnel cake in his hands, balancing them perfectly. 

"Hey....Tommy." 

"Yo Tommy." 

Benrey waved with their free hand, as if they weren't holding Gordon with the other. 

Tommy pointed at Benrey, then gestured to Gordon. 

"Why is Mr. Freeman on your shoulder, Benrey? Is he hurt?" 

"We're goofing." 

"Oh! Okay!" 

"Can you put me down so I can have funnel cake?" 

It seemed like Benrey hesitated, before carefully putting Gordon down. 

The trio walked over to a lunch table, Benrey pushing the stroller with both of their hands, while Gordon and Tommy decided how they were going to split two funnel cakes among three people. (Bubby and Coomer were off eating turkey legs on the other side of the park, according to Tommy.) 

They all agreed that Gordon and Benrey would share, and Tommy would share if either of them were still hungry. 

"You ever have a funnel cake, Benrey?" 

"Nnooooo....I only eat...gamer food." 

"Gross. Come on buddy, here." 

Gordon broke off a few pieces with a fork, before holding it out to Benrey. It only surprised him a little bit as he watched Benrey eat the funnel cake right off the fork instead of grabbing it from Gordon. 

"...Y-You could've just-" 

"Eaten the fork too?" 

A quiet chuckle came out of Tommy. 

In response, Gordon just sighed, taking Benrey's hand and putting the fork inside of it. 

"I'm not feeding you, Benrey, I've seen you use a fork like fifty times." 

"You weren't just being nice?...ouch...owie."

The pout on their face earned a playful punch to the arm. That action somehow earned a loud laugh. 

"Come on, bud!" 

"Raghhhhhhh." 

In a split second, half of the cake was gone. Gordon didn't wanna even think about how Benrey ate that quickly, considering the guy ate a whole lobster on their date- date? Date. 

"So this is my half now?" 

"Yep." 

"....Benrey, you got a little somethin'." 

He tried gesturing to some powdered sugar on the corner of their lip, but as much as they patted their face, they didn't hit the spot. 

"Huh?" 

"No- not there- to your left?" 

As much as Gordon wanted to reach up and get it himself, Benrey would eventually find the specific location, sorta wiping it off with their arm in a quick manner. 

"Awww were you- were you gonna get it- for me?" 

Benrey clasped their hands together, making Gordon roll his eyes. 

"No I wasn't, I knew you had it." 

"You were.. shaking...with sugar urges." 

Gordon had a bite of funnel cake as Benrey spoke, Tommy on the side feeding Joshua a tiny piece of funnel cake. 

"Whatever bud, wasn't gonna happen." 

The blatant lie got a good laugh out of Benrey, before they looked at the time on their phone. 

"Yo it's getting latee." 

"Define late." 

"Like, I dunno..late. dark....night time beddy bye." 

Gordon lifted his phone up to his face. 

"Its like, seven pm. The sun might be setting but it's not dark." 

Tommy suddenly perked up, gesturing to Gordon and Benrey with enthusiasm. 

"Mr. Freeman! You and Benrey could go on the Ferris wheel! Because- because the sunset!"

"Sorry Tommy, I gotta stick with Joshua-" 

"I have him!" 

Joshua giggled in response. The baby probably had to sleep soon anyway. 

"You sure? And Benrey do you really wanna go-" 

"'fraid of heights, Gordon?" 

"What? No! No just... Hey wait a sec, I'm asking you!" 

"Mhm....ok ..ok I'll go on .a lame ride with Gordon." 

"Seriously?" 

"Feetman." 

"We're over that nickname!"

"Mmmmm are we..." 

Benrey scratched their chin. 

"Yes. If you want me to call you Bbbbbbbbb that can be arranged." 

"Lame. Wheel time." 

Tommy pointed to the Ferris wheel, the lights flashing, showing the location of it a few rides away. 

"Tommy call me if anything is up with him okay? And make sure he-" 

"He's safe with me, Mr. Freeman!" 

"...Alright, okay, I trust you, Tommy." 

"That means a lot, Mr. Freeman!" 

"Okay, we're off- Where the f- hell did Benrey go?" 

"I think they went ahead." 

"Son of a-" 

Gordon waved goodbye, before running to catch up with Benrey. 

By the time he got to the Ferris wheel, the line had died down, and Benrey was second in line for the next trip. Which was starting...right at that moment. 

Desperately, Gordon ran over to Benrey and grabbed their hand. 

"Hey, we're- we're next." 

"You good?" 

"I'm out of breath!" 

"Du-" 

"Don't call me a dummy, you got here first and I had to catch up!" 

"I'm speedy...fast.... I'm super fast." 

The worker called out from the stand. For a second, Gordon noticed their hat covered their eyes. 

"Next in line!" 

Gordon sighed. Dismissing the fact. 

"That's us." 

"Yep." 

By the hand, Gordon lead Benrey into the capsule-like booth the ferris wheel had. Then, they got seated, and when it started up, Gordon scooted closer to Benrey. 

"Scared?" 

They asked, their eyes staring down at him with what seemed like concern. 

"No- No I'm not scared I just- um."

"Hey man it's whatever...be like glue bro just..chill right here." 

"...I will." 

Usually Ferris wheels would take more than a couple of minutes, time to get up and time to be up high. 

Watching the sunset was the least of Gordon's concerns. The last time he was on a Ferris wheel felt like ages ago, and his nerves aren't calmed by the overwhelming feeling that Benrey wants to ask him something. 

"Hey Gordon."

His feeling was right. Like always. 

"What's up?"

"....What was...that guy talking about...the guy..the dude in the car?" 

"Gman." 

"Yeah. Uhh....a deal?" 

"Why are we-" 

"Because I'm worried bro."

Gordon's eyes widened. 

"Worried?" 

"I don't...want you to be. Hurt or somethin'.. like..like uh....when I...when I did it." 

"Benrey..." 

There was a pit in Gordon's stomach when he heard that confession. He could never truly be totally over it. It did hurt, all of it, and it hurt Gordon too. 

Benrey never seemed to hate Gordon for it, but for awhile, Gordon loathed Benrey. 

Blamed them for his hand being lost, blamed them for almost everything. 

They just acknowledged what happened and started over, as if Benrey didn't exist until that moment. 

"I don't think he wants to hurt me." 

"But the deal... seems like a big deal, bro." 

"It was." 

"What was it?" 

There it is. 

Gordon fumbles with his shirt, eyes looking down. 

".....it was a deal to bring you here." 

"What?" 

"A deal to bring everyone here! To the real world!" 

"But- you- how-" 

Benrey short circuited for a second. 

"I know it's confusing, but I kinda sorta didn't wanna leave you guys behind." 

The Ferris wheel stopped. Benrey and Gordon at the top. 

"You....you brought us.." 

Benrey looked at their hands, sweet voice coming out of their mouth, blue. 

Gordon started his response.

"Did you-" 

"I knew somethin' happened." 

"What?" 

"I felt...like.. squishy I dunno..time carpet messed up. And stuff. I felt it." 

"Oh, right, cosmic entity deal." 

"But why me." 

"What do you mean?" 

Benrey put their hand on Gordon's chin, and tilted his head towards them. 

"Bro I was...bad....and you still..brought me too." 

That was true. 

"...I-I did." 

".....So what...do you have to do for him?" 

"I don't know yet. It kinda scares me. But, it's Tommy's dad! It's not like he can do much." 

"Mmm.....does Tommy know about the deal?" 

"Gman told me not to. Not to...tell...you guys." 

"Oh shit. Are you in trouble?" 

The sweet voice stopped. 

"What? No! I don't think he counts you because you're almost on the same level as him?" 

"Damn." 

"It's crazy, I know, but when I uphold my end I just hope he doesn't ask for too much." 

Gordon shook his head, pulling away from Benrey to look out through the glass. The sunset was happening. It was beautiful, like always. Pink and blues stretching across the horizon. It was like being in a trance, the only thing taking Gordon out of it being a hand on his. 

"Benrey?" 

"........Um." 

They seemed flustered, unable to know what to say next. 

"Is something up, bud-" 

"Let's not focus on the deal." 

"...Huh?"

"Let's..focus on... now. Right now, bro just right now. What's happening." 

"What are you-" 

"I want you to think about how nice and pretty the sunset is...and how fun it is here..and how nice it's been...for you...if it's been nice at all." 

Gordon winced. 

"Oh, Benrey..." 

"I saw how you looked. I followed you, through the..games. Whatever game was near you, I was playing it. You just- didn't notice. You were just playing with Joshy and- and- strolling around looking..unhappy..when you were alone with him..." 

"Benrey, I'm not gonna let shit from the past mess up this day alright? I was just.. thinking, okay? Just thinking... that's it." 

"Lore." 

"..Yeah, lore." 

Gordon laughed weakly, before leaning on Benrey. 

"Hm?" 

"... You're good." 

"I am?" 

"Great, even." 

"Woah." 

Benrey held Gordon's other hand. 

"Hey Gordo." 

"What's up, buddy?" 

"....wanna kiss?" 

As much as Gordon wanted to burst out laughing, the idea didn't seem bad, and it was pretty nice to see Benrey surprised by a kiss for once. 

After Gordon stopped leaning and leaned up to kiss Benrey instead of have them kiss him first, Benrey's eyes widened. 

It was slow, not complicated or sloppy, just right. 

It felt like Gordon was underwater until that moment. 

As cheesy as it sounded, Benrey was the last person he expected to pull him out and give him air. 

Gordon needed air, and stopped to have a few breaths, before starting to kiss Benrey again. 

Their eyes were closed, but Gordon could tell they were probably...shaped like hearts? Sometimes they did that. 

When Benrey was the one to stop, Gordon realized the reason why. 

Their positions had shifted, Gordon pushing Benrey practically up against the wall of the Ferris wheel capsule. How long did the ride last anyway? 

"Uh- shit, sorry I didn't even realize-" 

"You're good. Woah Gordon taking the reins for once ooooo..." 

"Shut up." 

Gordon chuckled. 

"Uhh are we stuck?" 

"Stuck?" 

"Yeah." 

Benrey pointed downwards, at the guy behind the console. The employee was giving an announcement about technical difficulties. 

"How cliché. We're stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel for god knows how long. You know what that means?" 

"What?" 

"I get to kiss you more." 

Gordon grinned, might've been mischievously, might not have been. 

"Oh." 

Benrey couldn't stop the rush of pink sweet voice that came out of their mouth after Gordon said it. 

"Ha! Gotcha." 

"Wait are we- really gonna kiss more?" 

"Only if you want to-" 

He was cut off by Benrey gently grabbing his face to kiss him again. 

Yeah, they were gonna be up there awhile.


End file.
